Please help me........I need to sort myself out.?

Question

I'm a 16 year old female and a complete tearaway. I know i'm a nightmare. I live with my Stepmom of 3 years (Michelle/Shell who has lived with us for 5 years), dad (Scott) and 2 little sisters aged 4 and 6. I really need help to sort myself out. Here are SOME examples of the stupid things i've done so far this year:

+ Broke my stepmom's wrist

+ Skipped school loads

+ Arrested for drunk & disorderely twice

+ Kicked in our front door

+ Swore at everyone in the family all the time

I know all of these things are really wrong & terrible and these are just some of them. If you read some of my other posts you will see the h**l i put my family through (especially my stepmom, even though i love her so much). I don't know why i do these things, i just don't think about concequences which never seem to work anyways. The only time when i am truly calm is when i'm with my horse.

My dad & stepmom have tried allsorts of punishments including groundings, confiscating cell and tv etc., spankings and tons of other stuff.

I really want your comments on what i've done and ideas of how to stop me being so selfish, violent, unco-operative and whatever else. Also what my dad n Shell can do to help cos they want to aswell. Please. I really need to change. I've already been to anger management of my own choice but it made me more angry so after 5 months i gave up.

X

Answer 1

It sounds like alot of repressed anger sweetie, when i was thirteen and my parents divorced I hated the world and everything in it and wanted nothing more for my mom and dad back together unfortunately that never happened and for years I hated everything.

First of all realize that whatever your family is, it will not be like you want it to be as far as changing your parents. The movies about parents reuniting are c**p, just accept what is. Second thing you should know is anything your parents put you through is not your fault.

I think in a sense you may feel this is your only way to express your anger, IT'S NOT. Parents will not agree with this but they are messed up they have know Idea with what they put their children through and then they see a reflection of themselves when they were growing up through their children and punish them for it when their children s***w up thats messed when their the ones who teach it to us.

For me I had to find new outlets, like spending more time with your horse find some other things you can get involved aside from things that are harmful to you mind or body, Parents only know what they know base on their experiences and what they have learned, it is up to you to learn how to communicate with them on an appropriate level, and to learn more, once people start to get a certain age they tend to get stuck in a pattern of thinking and most of us never grow out of it. So know matter what keep an open mind to all things attempt to see a bigger picture your at an age where you know right from wrong so be for you take the actions care to take the time to think about the consequences of your actions, just because it may seem like your parents dont care, does not mean that you shouldnt care either, that leaves you an opportunity to grow and expand as a person in this world, us humans only use about 8% of our brain challange yourself to be above average and once you start to care about how you feel or would feel if someone displayed the same actions, then you will start to care about the ripple effect your actions may cause toward someone else, please really take some heed to what I have expressed i KNOW WHAT YOUR GOING THROUGH FOR i WENT THROUGH THE SAME I EVENTUALLY TURNED OUT JUST FINE. but know this one day you may really need those people and they may not be around so be greatful too. take care sincerely expressed.

Answer 2

As a teen I had a lot of  Ã¢Â€Âœissues” as well. I was angry with everyone around me. The harder they tried to understand the more upset and bothered I was. I couldn't put a finger on it at the time. I was never physically abusive or got into any trouble with the law, but there was plenty of hurt to go around. My strongest suggestion is to go see a councilor. Don’t hold anything back Say it just as you feel it. Express why you have so much rage. If you don’t know then say what makes you mad, what you hate, and how unhappy you are. Maybe go by yourself and then as a family. I didn’t realize what made me this way till I was married and moved thousands of miles away! Once I was out of the environment I had a different look at it. I had to  get away before I realized what the problems were. Since then I have been able to let go of the things I had built inside of me. My family always stuck by me and now today we are closer than ever. You really need to stop destroying yourself and your family. It’s great that you can see what you are doing is wrong. That shows that you can change it, you want to. I admire you for being able to be honest and realize things aren’t right here. Seek as much help as possible and turn thing around before it’s too late. Good Luck!  

Answer 3

Lost Soul

I know what your going through...I came out of anger mgmt classes worse that I went in.

That fact that you are so aware of yourself is great.  Your further down the road to normalcy and healing than you realize.  Your problem is a bleeding heart, and you just can't seem to make it stop.  My advice, find the root cause, if you already know, face it or him/her (forgiveness).  If you can't, you can use my secret weapon.  I'll lend it to you but you have to promise to use it.

It's a principle hidden in the finite fabric of space and time, you can trust this principle to work just like you trust that the son will rise in the morning, or that winter will pass, and spring will arrive.  I call it the A.S.K. principle.  If you need answers and you have exhausted all other options.  See Matt 7:7

As far as your parents try some roll reversal.  Try calmly verbalizing frustrations before you pop-off.  No worries, virtuous young women, everything is going to be alright.

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