Please help me correct my grammar..?

Question

A body dysmorphic disorder is one of the somatoform disorders that involves with a normal-appearing person who believes that he or she has a defect in appearance or has an excessive concern over a slightly physical defect. For example, a twenty-four year-old male believes that his small hands size do not attract women. He thinks that when the women see his hands, then they would think it means he has a small p***s size. He decides to get a plastic surgery on his hands to make them look bigger than women's hands so the women would feel attracted to him. People with body dysmorphic disorder makes them feel over self-conscious about their physical appearance that is not related to medical issues, such as deformity of hands and facial clefts. It causes many symptoms and it put them to become homebound and dangerous to one's self.

Answer 1

The first person had a couple very small mistakes.

Body dysmorphic disorder is one of the somatoform disorders that involves a normal-appearing person who believes that he or she has a defect in appearance or has an excessive concern over a slight physical defect. For example, a twenty-four year-old male believes that his small hand size does not attract women. He thinks that when women see his hands, they will think it means he has a small p***s size. He decides to get plastic surgery on his hands to make them look bigger than women's hands so women will feel attracted to him. People with body dysmorphic disorder feel over self-conscious about a physical difference which is not related to medical issues, such as deformity of hands or facial clefts. It has many symptoms and it may lead to a victim becoming homebound or dangerous to his or her self.

Answer 2

I'm not going to mark what I'm doing this time, so if you have a question, you can ask.

Body dysmorphic disorder is one of the somatoform disorders that involves a normal-appearing person who believes that he or she has a defect in appearance or has an excessive concern over a slight physical defect. For example, a twenty-four year-old male believes that his small hand size does not attract women. He thinks that when women see his hands, they will think it means he has a small p***s size. He decides to get a plastic surgery on his hands to make them look bigger than women's hands so women would feel attracted to him. People with body dysmorphic disorder feel over self-conscious about a physical difference which is not related to medical issues, such as deformity of hands or facial clefts. It has many symptoms and it may lead to a victim becoming homebound or dangerous to one's self.