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Please help me figure out why my boyfriend is extremely controlling.

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Please bear with me while this may be a little long. I love my boyfriend to death that I have been with for 2 years now. He has me over every weekend and treats me like a queen when Im there. Pays for everything and we have a fun time when we are together. I cannot picture myself without him. Except for the controlling issues he has makes me wonder how I will be able to deal with him the rest of my life. After reading this, please tell me if there is a way I can help him and help our relationship work. I am going to be 30 years old. Please help me.

I cant wear what I want. I have to wear certain shirts where the neckline wont open up. I cant wear my hair down for work or when Im out and about at home. I can only wear it down when Im with him because he likes it down. He will never go on vacation and never go on a plane. I am dying to go away somewhere but I never will be able to. He will never let me go without him. We do things on the weekends and have fun, but its the samething. We really dont do anything out of the ordinary unless his friend is with us. Then the friend is able to talk him in to going places, but I never have any luck. He is very set is his ways and doesnt like to go out at all really. He always thinks I talk to guys at work. When I am at work I used to go outside a bit for some fresh air and a break and now he tells me not to go outside. Its as if he is afraid men are going to notice me and take me away from him. I dont know but he seems very insecure. When we order pizza, he makes me stay in the room until the delivery guy leaves. I think he thinks that the delivery man will look at me. He gets mad at everything, even things that are completely normal. When Im with my friend, I have to make sure it will just be the 2 of us. You also have to watch everything you say and do around him. He picks on every little thing. He is always talking about his ex girlfriend and how she was good at everything. I am not allowed to get a massage. No one is allowed to touch me. No guy is allowed to hug or kiss me, even as a friendly hello, unless it is a relative. We bearly talk on the phone and most of our relationship is all text messaging. He is always mad at something and ignores me. I cannot wear a bathing suit unless I am with him and hidden and it cannot be a bikini. It gets to the point sometimes where I do somethings without him knowing because if he knew, he wouldnt let me do them. I have to tell him what I wear everyday and how I look. He wants to know every move I make.

I am sure there is more, but I know I have written enough. Please give me all the advice you can on this. I will greatly appreciate it. I know alot of these things may sound crazy but they are all true.

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6 ANSWERS


  1. your boyfriend redefines insecurity

    it honestly sounds like hes paranoid and crazy soo if u want to give up freedom for slight happiness stay with him

    and as to why hes like this, idk maybe hes had gfs that have done terrible things to him or maybe thats just his nature or like i said b4 he might be crazy

    if i were in ur position id leave him but its your choice

    hope you make the right one


  2. Dump him! You cannot leave your life like this, it is only going to get worse! The more he controls you the more you will lose what little self esteem you have at the moment and you will feel unable to do anything without him. He sounds like he has a real problem and he will not change. You sound like a nice girl, do yourself a favour and get out while you are still young enough to find a decent boyfriend. Can you imagine if you had children with him, a daughter, what sort of father would he be? And he keeps comparing you to his ex, totally wrong! Really DUMP HIM!!!!

  3. You are exchanging being treated like a queen and having everything paid for to be his robot. It's that simple. He's a control freak. Take it or leave it.

  4. Hes oubviously really insecure or your just so beautiful to the guy  that he thinks when another guy see's you they will pounce. Or maybe he thinks that you will leave him for someone else. OH and that ex girlfriend thing is very very very bad. And remember shes his ex for a reason. You cannot spend your life under the control of someone that wont let you feel pleasure.

  5. Wow that sucks...Id say dump his ***!!  

  6. because he's italian.  

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