Please help me forget him. How can I cope with my loss?

Question

I don't know where to turn. My boyfriend up and left me after being together for 2 years. I had no idea he was so unhappy. He acted like nothing was wrong. We cuddled and kissed the night before. The next morning he was gone. No note, no explanation, no goodbye. I was thrown away, and I can't seem to find closure. What did I do wrong? When did he stop loving me? I'm nearly 40; I've been through a divorce, and I have a beautiful little girl that loved and adored him. He left us; I didn't know what to tell her when she woke up to hear me crying. How am I supposed to deal with this loss when I am still in love with him? He left me to pay rent on my own, he left me with unpaid bills; he even took money out of my wallet before he disappeared. I know he's a jerk, and I know he has issues. I found out none of my family or friends even liked him; they only accepted him because I loved him. We were supposed to get married in December too. I feel like a lost soul. I've tried everything to forget him. I threw away all his stuff, tore up pictures, sold our rings for almost nothing. It's only been 1 month, but the pain won't go away. I'm getting therapy soon, and I've been spending time with friends, writing my feelings down, thinking of the bad things, spending time with my daughter, etc. Still, I hurt so badly. I just don't understand this. Why didn't I see it coming? How could I have been so stupid!? I just need some advice, some hope from others who have been there. I don't feel like I could ever love or trust again. Please, if you can give me some hope at all, please share it with me.

Answer 1

I suppose this won't help much, but time is the only thing that will heal your pain. It has only been one month and grieving is very normal. Tell yourself that you deserve someone that treats you better - someone who has the decency to tell you to your face why he is leaving you. Then focus on yourself for and try to laugh and have fun. Life is short and you dont want to waste time being sad over a guy that broke your heart.

Answer 2

girl i know how u feel,its been 7 years for me and i still cant get over my ex but i still see him around all the time.if u dont ever see him again then u will get over him with time. but for me i dont think i ever will.good luck girl be strong

Answer 3

You know the answers you get may not be easy to hear, sorry.

I think he has some issues that he must get worked out first, and he knows it.

Most likely he's thinking of YOU and babygirl too, but something's going on.

True, life is challenging and many people are on edge right now, it's sad [your story], but I would say that he's going to be "out to lunch" for a while.

It hurts now, it is sad, but it's better to find out sooner than later [sorry, I know that does not help the pain].

Before you give up too soon, maybe just remember the good times and things and forget the bad.