Please help me:)?!?!?

Question

If I were to adopt a kid when im older, how long would I have to wait for her to come home? I hear a year, is that true or would I have to wait less, or even more? Also, once ALL the papers are signed can the parents get the kid back if they want? (it will be a baby) And can I adopt more than 1 kid at a time?

Answer 1

It sounds like you need to do some research.  Here's some reading for you:

* "Being Adopted: The Lifelong Search for Self" by Brodzinsky, Schecter, and Henig

* "Journey of the Adopted Self" by Betty Jean Lifton

* "The Primal Wound" by Nancy Verrier

Answer 2

Lotsa questions here...first off, it could take a year or more to get a baby.  An American baby could take even longer, I'm guessing.  If you adopt from another country, it still is a long process but not as bad.  Be careful though, some countries out and out lie about the care and health condition of the babies.  And yes, once all papers have been signed the birth parent(s) have no legal claims.  I don't know about adopting more than one at a time.  It probably would be much easier if the children were siblings.  

Good luck:)

Answer 3

Who knows how long it could take when you get older. It will depend what the policies and regulations are at that time.

As far as IA, it doesn't matter how many papers are signed. If fraud or kidnapping is proven, an adoption can be automatically invalidated by their gov't.

It will then become a situation for the gov't's to decide whether the child is returned to their mothers/fathers or remain with adoptive parents. It will be similar to the Elian Gonzalez immigration case.

In Guatemala they are requested DNA tests of several children living in the states where blantant fraud has been discovered in the paperwork because the Guate gov't is starting to crackdown of fraud and child trafficking within adoption.  

Answer 4

Once the papers are signed, the parents may not be able to 'get the kid back if they want' when that "kid' is a child.  It is different if they are an adult, however.  You cannot prevent an adult from wanting a relationship with their natural parents if they so choose.

Adoption is not like giving birth to a child of your own.  There are other parents there who may have long-term emotional connections to their child, and vice-versa, even if they surrendered that child (either by their own desire or being forced by others).  It is not natural for a mother to want to give away her baby -- it actually very seldom happens unless a mother figures she has no other viable option.

You may be legally adopting a child who will be "yours", but your child may have 2 other parents, 4 grandparents, and possibly future siblings who may want to be involved or whom the child wants involved later on.     Are you okay with "expanding your family" by a lot of "extended relatives" of your child like this?

Adoption is not a "lifetime guarantee" of "a child of your own," unlike what the adoption lawyers and agencies want to portray.  Many adoptees want family connections with both families, and some (such as my son) return entirely to their natural families again.  

Do you think you would be okay with this if it happened? Something to think about before adopting.

Answer 5

Adopting your first child will be quite difficult, and if you're a single mother well...that's an obstacle but not impossible. You can adopt more than one child at a time, but I don't think first-timers can do it. You wait around a year yes, but sometimes it can go faster. Try being honest and all. Specially because of the age you want her, it will take some time to find one since everyone wants babies, I would go for older ones.

If the parents find your baby you're protected by law, but as you know in our country anything can happen.