Please help me to help my son?

Question

my 8 yr old son has been feeling scared frigtheen does not want me or my husband to leave the house always wants us to be with him . and that ok with us b/c we do not go anywere . it is my b/day and for the frist time in a year my son was going to go to my sister house for a sleep over me and my husband was going to go to ac but my son is so afaired of us to go this would not be the frist time he has been to a sleep over by the way i am not sure what to do i keep telling him that everything well be ok but i can see that in his mind it is not ok with him want to do go or stay

Answer 1

Your job as a parent is to find out what is causing his fear. Take him to a therapist if you need to. Obviously if he's been fine in the recent past, then something must have happened. Did he watch a movie where parents died while their child was somewhere else? Did someone threaten to kill his family if he didn't do something? He wouldn't just out of the blue become scared if he has been fine in the past with it. It's your sister, so I'd still go, but I'd find out what the fear is and find ways for him to stay in contact--say he can call you when he wakes up and that you'll call him before bed.

Answer 2

It's really hard to say what to do.  You can try to leave him...wait an hour and if he isn't comfortable still, then go get him.  But, atleast try.  Could something bad have happened to him while you guys were gone one time?  My 2 year old is like that, he is only comfortable when we leave him and his grandma and grandpas house.  But, they need a break every once in awhile too.  If the above doesn't work, I would sit him down and explain to him that nothing is going to happen, and he is going to have so much fun playing at his aunt's house.  Tell him that he can call you anytime, if he feels scared.  Good Luck!

Answer 3

Do you think there's a reason he's so scared?  Maybe he had a really bad dream?

I would tell him that you'll be back, and go anyway.  Then the next morning, take him to breakfast (or lunch), and remind him that you'll always come back.

Answer 4

Your son is obviously afraid of something or someone, is he being bullied or mistreated, check him for bruises,

Answer 5

does he tell you why he doesn't want you to leave?? It may not be a fear at all, maybe it is!! often children rule their parents lives in ways like this,

you have to go out, firstly to show him he cant always have his own way, and secondly to show him that you will come back, nothing is going to happen and every thing will be fine.

I think if this has been going on for a while he might need togo see someone about it because thier might be some thing serious behind this feeling that needs to be sorted out asap because it could end up getting worse

Answer 6

Go have you asking your son why he scared. Something must be bothering him for doing that. I think you need to find out and help him out with that. You and your husband need some time alone. You can call him and talk to him couple of hours after leaving him so he knows you still around.

Answer 7

A child of that age should not develop unfounded fear, so there is a cause somewhere. He probably doesn't even know what set him off, but he may have had a trauma that was very real to him. You need to find out the cause eventually, but for now you need this get away with your husband.

Answer 8

I think you need to have some time to yourself and take your cell if it gets to much for your sister she can ring you

Answer 9

Find out which movie he saw and discuss it. It got to him and he needs reassuring that that's not the way things really are. Explain how the movie was made, who the actors are in real life and let him tell you what  bothered him most. Stress that this was make-believe and this should alleviate a lot of the problem.  He should never be allowed to watch movies that are not age appropriate,and others in the house should know this and not allow it. To ease his fears further, when you are not in his sight get him a cell phone, either pay as you go plan or a Firefly which connects him right to you like his own private hotline or a disney phone which you can program so that he can only call certain numbers, also it has a service that can track and he can see where you are if you have the phone or vice versa. It's basically lowjacking but what the hay, he'll find it comforting.