Please help me with my family

Question

Hi. I am Female and I'm 13.

I keep a diary and last night my parents read it all.

You probably wouldn't think this is such a big deal but you don't know what it has written in there.

It says how I feel upset and depressed all the time, it says how I starve myself and then eat a lot and then stick my fingers down my throat.

It has pros and cons lists of things I could do, one of them is suicide.

It has a list that says things like:

PROS -

wouldn't have to deal with life anymore.

CONS -

I don't think I would have the strength to do it.

I know it sounds crazy, but really, when I wrote these things down I was just feeling upset.

It is not as bad as it seems.

HONESTLY

My dad cheats on my mum and I found out about it.

I have heaps of things written in there saying how he is a bad parent and how he has ruined my life.

I have stuff written in it saying how I am concidering cutting myself.

It talks about how I wish my mum would leave me alone and stop asking questions.

This is HONESTLY no where near as bad as it sounds.

Please trust me.

My dad wrote me a letter he left in my laptop I just recieved.

It says how I am a great daughter and how if I ever killed my self it would kill him and destroy my mother.

It also says how he is sorry he isn't a very good father but he does try.

Please help me find a way to talk to my parents about it all and assure them and make sure they believe me that it is not as bad as it sounds.

I also really do NOT want to go to counselling because I have been before and I abolutely hated it and it did not help at all.

PLEASE do not tell me I am screwed or I don't have a choice,

PLEASE do not tell me to go to counselling

but please help me.

Much Love,

x

Answer 1

Just explain to them that your diary is your way of letting things out and that writing is something you enjoy.... tell them that when your angry or upset you like to write stories about it to make the situation seem not very bad.... so i mean tell them you write it as if its much worse than it is, so when you read over it you dont feel as bad...

I really hope you dont have these feelings....

Best luck..  

Answer 2

I am very sorry to hear about your situation. I actually don't know what it feels like to be thinking about suicide, but I'm sure it must be awful. Please, whatever you do, please don't do it. Suicide is not the answer. As for talking to your parents, get them together and tell them about how you feel, and what you want them to do about it. Don't shout, or scream, or argue, because that won't get you anywhere. Talk about the problem calmly, and be persistent...never give up!

Best of luck!

Answer 3

im sorry about your whole ordeal. my parents are very nosey as well, and it feels as if i cant talk to them about my personal stuff even though i guess your supposed to. im kind distant from my parents and at sometimes its very akward.  reading diaries is somthing that my parents would seriously do. if you have an older brother or sister i suggest you talk to them, b/c im super tight with my older sister and she is 25. first of all you have calm down, and find your center a little bit, and think about what you should say to your parents to lighten the atmosphere. you have to talk to both of them sooner or later, things happen for a reason.  but you also have to explain that that is how you vent.

you can also call a suicidal hotline, i suggest reading this book: "its kind of a funny story" by ned vizinni.

i hope i helped.

email me if you want.