Please help my 6 old boy and 8 year old girl are always fighting!!?

Question

I have tried everything from timeout to taking things away and the newest one have them in timeout holding there hands with each other. They listen and get along for about an hour and here we go again the I was here first, don't touch me, it's mine, and you know moms everything else that you hear 20 millions times a day. Help any new suggestions that might have helped you. Thanks

Answer 1

Here are some options that are a bit more realistic than Nanny 911:

You could develop a points system. Give them a set number of points at the beginning of the week and each time they fight, deduct 1. The incentive is at the end of the week, if they have enough points, they could "buy" something at Mom's store (which you would create), like a favorite meal cooked for them.

Or if they don't fight for a few hours, treat them with a soda or an ice cream. Gradually extend the amount of time they have to get along in order for a treat.

Or take them outside to a park where they can roam around freely. Being together in an enclosed house all the time can cause fights as well.

Or you could pull out the big guns and say, "When you fight, it hurts Mommy. Mommy is so much happier when you get along."

Good luck.

Answer 2

Put them in a corner everytime they act up or make them stand with their noses touching. Kids hate that!  

Answer 3

Apply for Supernanny.  

Answer 4

Well I'm not a mom but i have an older brother. When we were that age my mom would get so mad she mainly told us if we stopped she'd get us like ice cream then wait a hour and we would forget. If they start asking questions be like in a bit. So bribery is the best thing you could possibly do it worked for me any way

Answer 5

First they never outgrow this. Mine are now 21 and 24 they fought over the years, sometimes best friend, sometimes I had to pull them off each other. It is NORMAL

Based on your comments, you make them hold hands? what did you want to accomplish making them hate touching each other even more? Excessive timeout just makes them fight to get the alone time.

Kids are going to fight, they both want your attention. And it appears that when they fight, they get just that, your attention.

This is not much help, but it is normal, if you can get to the root of the cause, my son always said that my daughter was the "princess" and therefore got away with more ... that he paid for all her mistakes. Now I learned this after he was 18, but it was the root of thier fights.

My daughter is hard to get along with at times, she is more the "Bully" my son just wanted us to see what he saw. We acknowledged it, that we made more effort to keep her under control and he did not get as much attention. After we acknowleged it, he felt better.

And as a note, they both turned out fine, it molded them into fine adults.

He (the youngest) is in the military and listens well to direction, does not let the "bullies" get to him. He thanks his sister for that.

She is an office manager, doing just what she is good at bossing everyone around to get a job accomplished.

Hang in there. Research, read, ask questions. But it sounds as though your kids are normal.

Answer 6

try always being around them.  I'm assuming they go to school during the day.  Then in the evenings and on the weekends have them be in the room with you at all times.  As soon as they start to argue, call them on it.  As far as not sharing toys, this is what I did with my 4 and 2 year old:  as soon as one wants the toy, he must ask politely, and the other HAS to share, no matter who had it first, etc.  I thought this would never work, but it actually is working wonders, and even my 2 year-old now is asking politely for toys when he used to just scream and demand.  I highly recommend this webpage:  http://www.raisinggodlytomatoes.com/

It has the most practical childrearing advice I've ever read from a mom of 10.

Answer 7

spank them. timeout isnt going to cut it.

Answer 8

well im not a mom however i do have a sister and i think that children//siblings go through different stages, sometimes they are close, sometimes they just wanna tear each apart (but they dont) so if ur children arent actually hurting each other i think you shud just let them go through it on their own for a while and they might work it out.....

Answer 9

hes exactly right sign up for nannny 911 it would awesome for you! I will watch you on tv!

Answer 10

you cant really do anything

unless you bring in a special nanny

siblings always fight

Answer 11

Sometimes just separating them is the easiest.  I tried for a long time to get my kids to play together, thinking that they will eventually get along...they really enjoy their space most of the time.  It makes it easier for them to get along when it's movie time or any time when they can't be separated.  Also, I would guess that for your 6 yr old, its just a phase...didn't your 8 yr old have that time when listening to you was the furthest thing from her mind...no matter what the consequence??  I know mine did...good luck.

Answer 12

either

1) they're brother and sister, they're supposed to be like that

or

2) smack their behinds, they'll get the picture.

Answer 13

You can't eliminate sibling rivalry.  And your discipline methods lack consistency as well.  Ignore the fights, as long as they haven't killed one another they will get over being angry with one another.  I have six siblings myself and even though we are in our 40s and 50s we still argue and if we are at our parent's home mom still tells us to go outside because she doesn't want any blood on the carpet.  

Answer 14

do they get allowance? cus everytime they fight you should take a dollar away..or if they don't have allowance then you should pay them a dollar everytime they get along, this might seem like bribing [and it kinda is] but if its ur last resort then you should try it..=]

Answer 15

Bust their butts.  

Answer 16

I hear ya there!  I'm a single parent with a 14 year old, a 7 year old, and a 2 year old and its sometimes really hard to figure out who's starting which fight but the best way that I've found to stop it is to sit them at the kitchen table, all facing each other, and tell them that no one gets up unless they figure out why they were fighting in the first place, work the problem out, and apologize to each other.  No one is allowed to say "Well he/she always..." or "But its my..."

I usually have to stand at the table to mediate but they're starting to discuss more instead of demand.  I didn't think it would work with my youngest but he's well aware of what sitting at the table means when its not dinner time so he's catching on rather well.  Of course, when I started this approach it was standing at the table with a roll of duct tape letting them know if they argued one more time the instigator would be duct taped and put in the closet by the door until they learned how to get along!  (never would do it but just the thought of it was enough to get them to communicate)

Answer 17

Nanny 911

Answer 18

i would take eveything that they like.........video games,toys,etc then finally start taking things like there bed away and stuff they will miss!

maybe you could let them go over a friends house so they will get to have fun and they wont be bugging you.

Answer 19

well little siblings always fight with eachother. just have them seperated with activites theyre probably just getting on eachother's nerves. or take them both out to chuck e cheese let them have some fun that will also bring them closer together. good luck :)

Answer 20

Sounds like my 5 year old and 3 Year old Cousin. [ Brother[3] Sister[5] .] They are always getting at it. She don't let him play with his own tractors.. Shes always yelling at him, and making him cry.

It drives me nuts. They put them on time out and they only listen for about an hour as well; I can't stand it!! She always hits him, bangs on his head, slams his head into the doors .. Kicks him, Chokes him. and you tell them not to do something and they do it over and over, .. . . .  Shes more of a Brat then he is.. There parents have tried everything so I don't know what advice to give you.

Maybe Send them to there room.. or tell them your gonna throw there favorite toy away and instead of throwing it away hide it for awhile until they start listening? . . . Or spank them with the fly swatter [that's what my cousins get] But other than that. I have no clue.

Answer 21

Hello,

Kids fight. This teaches them to get a long in the real world.

Only time to step in is when blood is being shed.

It it possible that they are not being allowed to resolve there own problems but always have someone stepping in.... this bickering is a bad habit and kids get attention for it. Bad attention is better then no attention.

Keep there minds busy and each child is different so different activities. I am sure there are chores they can do if they are bored. Do you and there father fight? Kids will and do copy.

My boys did not fight all that much when little kids and when they did when older it was blood shed for the oldest wanted to be on his own and got his wish.

Good luck and keep those kids busy with something.  

Answer 22

Super nanny?

Answer 23

I saw a great episode on the super nanny a while back. She created big bowls for each child with colored balls. Each time you did something wrong a ball was taken away. Each time (maybe every hour or so) no fighting or something great happened they earned a ball. At the end of the week they used the balls to "buy" things. A trip to the mall, a game they wanted.

The trick is you have to stick to it. You can't just do it one day and say it doesn't work. Once they are not able to get what they want for long enough it will work.  

Answer 24

They need a spanking.

Answer 25

kinda difficult since kids their age like to fight sometimes, i guess u can try buying two of everything so they each get one and hope they wont fight

Answer 26

make them hug the whole time their in time out.or you could make them go in time out standing in a corner holding a penny in place in the corner with their nose for 10 minutes.or get baseball bats and stand them up on the floor,make them put their foreheads on the end of the baseball bat,and make them run around in circles but thats a little seriouse lol.

Answer 27

I have two words for you.. Duck Tape!!  

Answer 28

ok i don't have kids and i may be wrong, but what are the parents like, do you treat them both equally as far as love and everything else goes?

Answer 29

have the dad sit next to both the kids in a resteraunt with them and then u sit on the other side limit hannah montana for 30 mins and the other kids music for 30 mins computer time each 30 mins for both if y allow them to use a computer in your house so that is what i know cause i got a neice 6 and a nephew 8 hoped i helped  

Answer 30

you should start by getting them each a toy or something that they both enjoy,because if u get them each something diffrent they might wants play with the other toy  that your child has , but again its normal for children tham age to fight over toys ( ect,). punishments like timeouts dont help  alot cuz they will make you chils tierd and resless, insted you should make them do some thing they enjoy  like watch t.v. for it will calm them down,sum  times, all your children need is a break from each other. Separate your children into two different rooms, send one child outside while you keep the other child inside, or find someone to let one of your children have a sleep over. O and sumthimes you should take away the toy.

Answer 31

Ask doc phil..>>>>>.http://search.yahoo.com/search?p=ask+doc...