Please help needed!? Urgent.

Question

Ok this is long but I need help badly...

I don't know what is wrong with me but I feel really sad and depressed and panicked all the time now. It never goes away. It started out with a panic attack last summer when I smoked weed for the first time (Never again!). I have never smoked a cig or drank ever and this freaked me out badly.

Then 3 months later (sep) my grandpa died and that is the first person I have ever known personally that has died. (Im a 20 y/o guy) I was at a depressing community college and hated my major. School let out and I changed to a university. I woke up one day in January and had a horrible panic attack the worst I have ever had. From there they kept on coming. I work at a computer lab too and sit by myself all day long 40 hours a week with no one to talk to. I stare at the computer screen all day I have no motivation anymore.

I do nothing and don't have friends really anymore (both joined the military one is in Iraq). Then I go home and watch TV, play playstation 3 or see my gf of 3 years. I am constantly anxious and sometimes feel like nothing is real. I feel extremely sad and I feel like I am high on marijuana (even though I have only smoked once a year ago) and I feel very panicked. I am afraid to take anti depressants and I seen a counselor 4 times over 8 months. I want to beat this without drugs. I don't know if my bossy gf is causing stress too.

I never felt this bad in my life before. I used to be so happy. I think I am a good looking guy I am smart and I think I have a good personality but I am so sad b.c of the panic and strange thoughts and feelings. I don't know what to make of life anymore and I really need someones help. Please help me make a difference in my life i don't know where else to turn. My doctor thinks I am crazy and pushes drugs on me the counselor just tells me to relax and breath deep. Well guess what counselor when you are having a panic attack and feel like you are going crazy and/or dieing you can't necessarily do that. I want to feel like me again. I am fearing my gf will find out that i think this way and I don't want to see my mom dad and little sister upset and they are worried I am going to kill myself or something. It breaks my heart to see my mom cry bc of me!! So someone please give me a hand and some advice it would be much appreciated. I need an outside opinion on what to do with my life.

Am I crazy and my brain is messed up or am I just going through a really tough year? I just don't understand life anymore. Why do i feel this way i was so happy and I am in decent shape? I try to exercise and lift wieghts but I am losing motivation. I am not a sissy or anything but it is a chore just to live!! please help and thanks for listening! Please help make a difference in my life and I will pay it forward.

Answer 1

Dude. You need to listen to your doctor. I know you don't want to take meds but you don't have to take it forever. It seems like you are going through tough times but when it comes to dying or living you should pull out all the stops to make it over the hill. Can you imagine how much more it will hurt your parents if you kill yourself. Dude medication can be useful if you find the right ones but it is not something that has to happen forever. You can get off of it when things start to change in your life and you can cope better or if the doctor thinks you no longer need it.

As for as you therapist some of them are tools. You have to find someone who can help you to talk about the things that has happened like your grandpa dying. You need to figure out how to get your girl in check so she can stop being a pain and support you.

There are no miracles here man. Its the basic stuff...get over yourself and take your meds..workout for 10 minutes you don't have to lift weights, you can go for a walk or a run. Make sure you are getting enough sun. Don't smoke weed because it doesn't help the situation or do any other drugs. Don't drink, eat right, and keep talking about what you are feeling.

You are too young to be worried about a wasted life, you haven't even begun to live. If I am too hard on you tough. You need to follow directions, it is not enough to just ask for help, you need to participate in getting better by following the directions giving to you by your doctor.

Answer 2

Sorry this is really long too :)

I know exactly how you feel. when i first moved away for college i was all alone. i cried myself to sleep every night and hated getting out of bed in the mornings; i didn't want to face the world. I look back now and realize that i was severely depressed, but i never took medication and i overcame it.

the best advise i can give you is while you are at your job in front of the computer, look for another job. it sounds like you are like me and NEED social interaction in your life. that was my life saver. i got a job waiting tables and made so many friends. it was amazing how i gradually came out of the depression.

Also, with the deep breathing and meditation, try doing it a couple times a day, deep breathing exercises make a HUGE difference in my anxiety. Don't stop exercising!!! it is so hard to get back in it once you quit. i know it is hard to motivate yourself, but you have to, it helps so much! join a gym. there are always people there and it's a great way to meet people. it's a lot easier to keep on a workout routine if you have people to do it with.

Don't be scared to share the way you feel with the people that love you. They will want to help. If your girlfriend doesn't understand or breaks up with you because of it then it's probably for the best. I broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years my 2nd year of college and it was the best thing i have ever done! we are still friends and i am engaged to the love of my life.

Life works out... sometimes we go through ruts, but if you want it badly enough you can always get out. Just think... there's an entire world out there. you can go wherever you want, you can be whatever you want. You can ALWAYS change your surroundings!

Good luck to you!

Answer 3

First of all, worrying about your condition just makes it so much worse. I was in a similar position a few years ago (before and after my dad died), and found out the drugs (prescription or otherwise) only make it worse. Your problem is situational, not chemical, and taking pills for depression or anxiety will actually have the opposite effect if you're not already chemically imbalanced. It's a normal reaction to everything going haywire in your life. My world slowly fell apart--I felt helpless and everything felt strange, like a bad dream. I was lonely, depressed and I kept having panic attacks. I resented being lonely but was scared to make friends or get close to people.

What changed everything for me? Three things: change in situation, change in attitude and time. I had to make some big changes. I moved across country, got another job, met new people (which was difficult especially at first). I had to find new hobbies to put energy into and try to get passionate about something.

Second, I had to change what I though about. I didn't realize how badly I dwelt on the past and how horrible my life had been/was going. I had to almost pretend I wasn't the same person anymore, like that past was an old friend I'd had to let go. I had to consciously stop myself from thinking all the things that depressed me and refocus on something else.

Third, give it time. Change doesn't always come quickly and/or easily, especially when it comes to changing yourself. what happened is still very much a part of me, but not a part that I LET affect me as deeply. It made me who I am today, but I had to take control of what kind of person I was becoming and let go of the past. I still catch myself remembering things I regret, but it's not as often and I've found people to love and a future to look forward to.

You don't have to move across country to remove yourself from a depressing situation. Perhaps joining the military like your friends would be a good way to refocus and build your future. It would force you to meet new people and expand yourself. In any case, I hope you're able to rise above the cycle of pain you've gotten caught in.

And don't worry about your family worrying about you. You need to focus on yourself for a little while. When you feel happy, whenever that is and for however long it lasts, share it with them. Let them see you're doing better or at least trying, and that will help them too.

Once you get going, re-evaluate your relationship with your gf. If she's not helping, don't hesitate to cut her loose. It's not good for either of you if she's holding you back.

Good luck!

Answer 4

Hi, I am the author of http://panicattackresearch.blogspot.com

Do not worry, I am not spamming my site - my site don't sell products or anything. My site is solely dedicated to panic-attacks or people whom have anxiety. I give tips on how to sleep even if you have anxiety.

Please do visit and post any questions there or here so that I can help you further.

I have been a sufferer for 12-years and am doing well. My blog is dedicated to help. I will be updating my blog every 5-7 days on new ways to cope anxiety. I have just made few good entries on coping - I hope it will help you.

I started out taking prozac 20mg daily.. then it dropped to 10mg and now I am just taking 5mg and still doing very well. I might be considering taking medication off my life.

And most importantly, I am here to help you because I know how it feels to have anxiety or panic attacks.

I have just posted a new entry and uploaded some good files for you to do some relaxation, and there are techniques to overcalm immediately!

All the best,

Seng