Please help.........?

Question

--- First of all, sorry for double posting.

My dad is heavily in debt. About $25k. He had bought this piece of land long ago in Vietnam that is now worth about $30k and I suggested him that he sell that land to pay off his debts but he keeps disagreeing without telling me a reason. Right now he's living paycheck to paycheck and even I, his teenage daughter, is stressing out about it. I know that my duty is to just learn but I cannot get this situation out of my head. I'm very concerned. My "step mother" who lives in Vietnam has a baby and they're about to come to the USA soon. My brother is a high school dropout who does nothing but sits at home and play video games BUT has a wife IN VIETNAM WHO IS ALSO HAVING A BABY. It is horrible. What should I do? What should my dad do? No matter how many times we've tried to convince my brother, he never listens, and that pisses me off as well. He refuses to take his driver's test and refuses to get a job. Yet he still eats our rice and locks himself in that room.

Answer 1

It sounds like you're putting a lot of energy into worrying about things that you can do nothing about:  

Your Dad has his reasons for not wanting to sell the land.  They are his reasons and apparently he's willing to deal with the stress of debt instead of selling the land.  There is nothing you can do about that.

Your brother has chosen his life and has his reasons.  He's willing to deal with a lack of money and a lack of responsibility.  There is nothing you can do about that.  

You can't do anything about the women who have children or are about to have children.  You can't do anything about your brother eating the family's rice or locking himself in his room.

The only thing you can do is live your life and do the best you can for yourself.  You can learn from other people's mistakes and choose a different path for yourself.  You can alleviate some of your stress by dropping the judgmental attitude you're holding against various family members.  By judging them, you are holding yourself captive and stressing yourself out.  Be kind to yourself and allow others to live their lives as they see fit.  Make choices that feel right to you for your own life.  There is nothing else you can or should do.

Answer 2

I live on disability and am greatful but it doesn't go to the end of the month.

your dad needs to sell the land, move it or lose it and for the brother. disconnect the game, when he goes to recover it , lock him out. tell him to go and have a life and not destroy the families life.

Answer 3

he is doing what your father is allowing.

stay out of it and let dad handle it, there is nothing you can do!!!

sounds like you have a really dysfunctional family.... i'm glad i'm not in your shoes.