Please help - violent mother?

Question

I am an 18yr old girl and I live at home with my mum. She has always been quite an angry person, but isnt usually violent.

However in the last week she has attacked me with different objects on three occassions, the last time she hit me on the legs with her curling iron so badly that it made me bleed. She keeps saying its my fault for making her angry and thats shes going to keep on doing it.

I want to move out but cant as I am quite ill with gynecological problems so would have trouble finding/keeping a job and couldnt support myself, also im half way through a college course and dont really want to give up on that which i would have to if i left home.

Is there anyway I can make her less angry and have a happier home life? I think i make her angry by being ill and also cos im quite depressed and cry alot.

I really dont know what to do, I desperately need advice :(

Answer 1

you said you're in college right? find out if there is a counselor that you can talk to. maybe they can help guide you in the right direction. also, i know it's hard, but you can go to the police. (i had to at the age of 13 for my mother.) that is abuse and they can force your mother to get help and get you support. good luck. i hope it works out for you.  

Answer 2

Oh my GOD! you should talk to a police officer or something.. lawyer? or a therapist or just some relatives that can help you.. but for the mean time just keep away from her as much as possible....

Answer 3

Mom or no mom, that is assault and battery. I am not sure what is causing her to act out, likely she is mentally ill, but a good wakeup call would be to call the cops when she does this. Just because you are her daughter does not give her free reign to assault you. NO ONE has that right. And, frankly, there is not a thing you can do to make her "happy." She's the one with the problem, not you. So you have two choices: stay away from her, or confront her with this: if she ever attacks you again, she is going to jail. Then follow through. If it turns out she is suffering from mental illness, the court can force her to get the help she needs. You will be doing her a favor.

In the meantime, I strongly urge you to seek out professional counseling for yourself. Anyone who would allow someone to abuse them has issues. Those issues can grow into serious psychological problems for you down the road that will effect your future relationships. Get help for it now before it becomes a serious problem! You can just pay a visit to your doctor to get a referral.

Good luck!

Answer 4

punch her then she wont touch u again if you fight bak just give her a good whack and she will be so shocked we wont kno what to do and end up doing nothing at all

gotta be cruel to be kind

and ur mums sounds like a ***** u could always report her then maybe the social will help u finish ur course and help with ur living

or smack her 1  

Answer 5

Hit her back harder.

Answer 6

I think you should just don't show her your emotions or remind her that you're ill.

Answer 7

Report her to the Police for assault. You are an adult and she has no rights whatsoever to do that.

She needs putting in her place by the Law. Give her the shock she needs . She can not do that to you.

Stand up girl and get her punished for it.

Answer 8

you need to get out of the house,

i know you said you cant do this

but isn't there any aunties grandparents you can live with until you find your own place?

you need to talk to some one about this maybe a teacher or friend just some one you trust.

good luck!  

Answer 9

well hunny if you are ill that is not a fault so dont think of it that way. she should understand that you have those complications and help you through them instead of be angry at you over it. Secondly do you have any family in the area that you can move in with? i did that when i lived with my father until we ended up living together again and then he sent me to my mothers house (which really isnt any better but im gettin married in january so i dont really have to deal with it much longer) i really hope all works out for you hunny...

Answer 10

sorry to say this hun but its not you that has issues ...horrible situation to be in especially it being your mum ...but if she wasnt ....(your mother) would you let any one else do the same to you ???for her to even say to you ....being her daughter,.. that its your fault just says to me that she needs the help desperately ..at the end of the day sweety whatever way you look at it ..its abuse ...as you are 18 you are now classed as an adult so its down to you to really deal with this situation ?? isnt there any family members that can help or that can talk to your mum on your behalf .....??? good luck xxxxxxxxx

Answer 11

Shishki there is no excuse for what she is doing if it continues report it to the police as this is assult. It sounds like your mum needs to see someone about her anger problems.  

Answer 12

No matter how frustrated your mother gets with you or anyone else for whatever reason, she should never EVER hit you. It's not your fault that you're ill and even if it was your fault she should be there for you and not make you suffer. You need to tell someone about this, before the situation gets more and more out of control. I understand you're scared for yourself, your mum and your future, but if you don't take control of the situation now, the truth is you may not have a future. If you contact the police or social services (even though you're 18) they can help you, and you may not even have to leave home, they can offer help with a family counselor or something to find out what the root of the problem is. You have every right to cry if you feel upset so don't feel guilty. You can't make your mother happier until you know exactly what is wrong, and even then unfortunately it may be something you can't control. I really hope this helps, and that you contact someone immediately. x

Answer 13

Your mother needs major psycholoical help and NOW! it's no one's fault but her own when she gets angry and she should NOT use physical violence. Get her the help she needs.

Answer 14

Your mother shouldnt be treating you like this - at the end of the day your her daughter and it shouldnt matter that your ill she should be there to support you through everything. Why not telling another family member and getting some advice or moving in with them for a while. You dont deservce this and you shouldnt have to put up with it even if you are ill. There will be some kind of support out there that will help people in your situation you just need to find it. Try asking your doctor he maybe able to put you in touch with people. Good Luck and dont let this carry on!!  

Answer 15

A few months ago I was really depressed too, my family was angry and my friend gave me this dvd called 'The Secret'. At first it sounds incredibly crazy and it took me a long time to understand but it changed my life and I feel like I have so much more to live for. It's kind of hard to explain but I will give you the website. Don't think I am crazy please.

Answer 16

She's a bully and it is not your fault that she hit you.  Tell her that if she hits you again you will report her to the police.  Then if she hits you call the police and do her for assault.  I know she's your mother but there is no excuse for this.

Answer 17

hey there!you better talk to your mother about that matter, try to  explain your side and ask her what is her problem about you being ill,you can also tell her that being ill is not your fault, 'cause you didn't want that to happen to you. i hope these things could help you resolve your problem.thank you and good-luck!