Please help was this rude?

Question

I told my friend about a job my husband wanted to get and then she told her husband to apply. Is that rude?

It was a very well paid job at a mine and I told her that my husband was applying then she turned and told her husband to go apply. Then I said, "what did you just say" and she said maybe they can both get jobs there. But they are hiring one not too. Would you be mad?

Answer 1

Well, I do not know if it can be classified as rude; but i your shoes I would most probably also be very unhappy.

Answer 2

You should be mad at yourself for talking about a chance at a job for your husband had applied and heard back.  She looked at it like a contest, let the best person win.  Her financial situation may have prompted her to act more rashly she wouldn't  normally.  That being said of course I would be upset than her husband also tried for the job.  But at the end of the day if you had kept your mouth shut it wouldn't have happened.

Answer 3

Well, she probably didn't know they only hire one person. There was a bit of an excitement in her part for her husband to be "job hunting" with someone else, esp. the other husband. This is common in some societies....sort of a friend dragging the other along for new job openings.

Answer 4

She should have asked you how many positions there were before she told her husband about it.  Since she obviously thought there was more than one job opening, I'd be mad but only for a little while.

Answer 5

You just learned an important lesson about your friend. She puts her personal welfare above you and your family's.

You also just learned that when your family needs something, don't tell anyone until you get it. That way you don't have to compete to get what you need.

Answer 6

I'd be a little upset but ya know you gave her the opportunity. Keep information like that to yourself. It would have been better to wait until the application process was over and then tell your friend "My husband applied for this great job."

Answer 7

I learned a long time ago that if you or your family is in need of something like a job or a particular place to live or something like that, keep it to yourself.  People will take advantage of things in order to better their own lives.  It's the strategy of LIFE.

You can't completely trust anyone but yourself.  Oh, and get yourself a new friend, but don't confide everything to them.  Sometimes things are better left unsaid or only talked about with whomever it involves like your family.

Answer 8

Personally I'd say it's a bit rude to just declare that, but maybe rude is a strong word to describe it. She could have at least done it without telling you...I don't know why she flat out told you her husband is going to apply too. It's like...stealing ideas. You'd never get credit if her husband got the job. I'm not saying this to be malicious towards them or anything, but I'd consider that a tad...inconsiderate to increase the competition for your husband, though that might have not been her intention exclusively.

Answer 9

Got a big mouth -- lesson learned keep your mouth shut.

Answer 10

This is why you have to keep this kind of information to yourself.  If opportunity knocks, people will open the door.

Answer 11

yes i would be mad. that was very rude. hopefully your husband gets hired over her husband. remeber though karmas a *****

wow whats with the 2 thumbs down?

Answer 12

Sometimes it pays to keep some things to your self.  However, friends should "think" before taking advantage of such situations.  

As we all know, these a very difficult times, along with the difficulties with finding work.  It's like anything goes when finding work.  However, there are still ethics.  I think your friend over stepped your friendship.  

After this, who wants this friendship?  On the other hand, it's stiff competition our there.  I think ethics over rules rude.

Answer 13

It is kind of rude...when it comes to money just keep the tips to yourself otherwise people will take advantage.

Answer 14

Nope. People need work.

Answer 15

I dont know if rude is the word.

Cutthroat seems to fit .

I'd be peeved. I think you are .

Esp if my husband had been unemployed for a while, and we needed the money badly.

To be fair..

It might have just happened that she mentioned it to him they were hiring, and so he went and applied. Not knowing there was only one opening.

If she's a good friend, say .. I'd like to clear the air about something that  made me rather upset.  Why did ___ go down and apply for the job ___ wanted.

Answer 16

not rude, but I'd be careful what I said to the "friend" in future

Answer 17

no b.c maybe her husband is more qualified.if your husband is better qualified than him then he will get hired you cant stop other people from applying for a job.be an adult

Answer 18

Not unless you told her there was only one opening. If you told her they would only accept one applicant, I'd be pretty flustered. But if not, she just genuinely thought it'd be nice if both your husbands could work together.

Answer 19

you can say that but not really. Her husband decided to take advantage of the offer.

Answer 20

No, she might've thought you brought up the job offer to let her know there was an availability and she/he could apply too. Most people would've done that.

Answer 21

id be mad  at  myself  for telling  her.

what  were  you  thinking?

first  of  all the  job search process is  a  very personal thing and  its  the one  thing  you  cant really  get help with

everything  has  to  come  from  within you  and  its  hard enough with all the  competiton  out  there,  but  to  have  your  own  wife  add to  that  competition by advertising  the  job is almost unforgiveable. you  are  his  ally in life  and  its  up  to  you  to  protect  his  interests  as  best  you  can. and  not  reveal his  hand to  anyone.

as  for  your friend,   her  most  important  person is  her husband,  and  if  she  loses even  her  best  friend  to  help  the man she  loves, secure  their common future   thats  a  risk  many  women would  take.

Answer 22

I would be mad.  If the other husband gets hired over your husband, you need to be looking some new friends too.

Others are saying you brought this upon yourself opening up your mouth. Well, you were confiding in someone you thought was a friend.  You should be allowed to tell your friends what you are doing in your life and not have them take advantage of you.

Answer 23

I wouldn't say it was rude. I would say she took advantage of the situation.

Answer 24

I think it is extremely distasteful.  But this is not a completely black and white issue.

The economy is not in a very good state now; many people have lost their jobs, and competition is extremely tough in many areas.  It is possible your friend's husband was on thin ice, lost his job or was otherwise seeking economic security (though that doesn't change the fact that the manner by which she went about this was completely lacking class and very inconsiderate of you).  

A good friend would have not spoiled your husband's chances (and therefore your level of security) for her personal benefit.

There are plenty of other mining or energy-based jobs she could have suggested to her husband.

Answer 25

Yes I would be mad but mostly at myself.  Loose lips sink ships as the saying goes.  That is another of life's lessons.  Some friend right?  Next time MUM's the word especially if it's for YOUR family's well being.  I hope your husband gets the job.