Please help with family issues? parents please?

Question

Ok I'm 15 and live with my sister and brother-in-law. i do alot around the house i pick up when able. i babysat all summer long for their 1 year old. im not complaining because i dont get an allowance dont get me wrong. the problem is my sister just bitched me out because she said i never do anything and if i did i would get an allowance. i dont clean my room but no one ever goes in it. i was told i was for going to get payed to babysitting and i didnt that didnt bother me. then on top of that she said i dont do anything which is what realy bothered me because i do alot. i feel like they think i am useless and a berdan.

what do you think

Answer 1

Do not get disheartened . your efforts will be rewarded sooner or later. Have faith in god. put in your best.

Answer 2

first up, I think your NOT useless! Nor are you a burden! Your sis could just be having a bad day :)

Wait till the dust settles, and have a talk with her. Maybe they cant afford to stretch the budget to give you an allowance, and she feels bad about it. Instead of saying she feels bad, she bawls you out trying to justify it. Im not saying this is the case, but people do things for a reason.

A cheater will constantly accuse his partner of cheating because hes guilty, so it is for other reasons to :)

Clean your room..LOL..as a parent..my kids can keep the rest of the house spotless, but when I see their messy rooms I want to slap them lol..I cant explain it..it just annnnnoys me!

Relax, remember your sis is human just like the rest of us, and your a good kid, and I bet deep down she loves you and is proud of you :)

Answer 3

Hey, I don't know if your sister says this all the time or just said it now. Some times people say things they don't mean so it is better to ignore it. But if this is a pattern, you may want to have some clear and obvious ways of tracking your work to ensure she actually notices it - like keeping a log on a calendar or dropping her notes. Make those notes look casual, not like you are keeping records e.g.,

    "<baby> was very good today. She played quietly, ate blah blah

     and slept around 8PM. Aug 23, 2008"

So your sister will also start realizing that you are actually helping out. Also try to do something on a regular basis, like helping pick up the dishes after dinner or folding clothes from the dryer. Or go out of your way to help her out on days she is really tired - she will notice it. Perhaps your sister is just tired from her work and feeding and taking care of the 1-year old baby.

Of course, you are also only 15. So she too needs to be reasonable about her expectations.

Good luck!

Answer 4

clean your room,

i know you wont like it but just do it, i know how you feel after tell her. tell her you fell like a berdan and you dont want to be, Maybe they cant afford to pay an allowance right now, maybe she had a bad day and is taking it out on you i know thats wrong but it could be true,and tell her you clean. you should write down everything you do and when she's starts telling you you never do anything pull it out and show her.

and if that dont work, dont do anything so insted of being blamed for nothing dont do it, it will be the same, she'll see how dirty everything gets then you can say hey, i'll clean it if your willing to pay me, if she doesnt pay you then do nothing.

hope i helped.

Answer 5

I think you should sit down with her and have a heart-to-heart talk. Try talking without raising your voice and getting angry. I don't think she realizes what she is saying to you or how it is coming out. Maybe there is a deeper reason why she is angry.

Taking on a younger sister is hard work (my sister raised me after our mother died- I was 14). the transistion is also hard no matter how close you two are.

If talking doesn't work, make you schedule and put it on the refridgerator, let her see what all you are doing.

Hope it works out for you!  

Answer 6

sit her down and figure out what she expects from you and dicuss it. find some middle ground that you can agree on and clean up your room!

Answer 7

i think that your sister is a ***** and that you should point out to her how much you do. then, maybe tell her that your not going to do anything for a day, and see how that is compared to a normal day. then the next day, do the stuff you normally do. see if she notices the difference. if not, then i guess dont help out at all, because if she isnt going to pay you for it and tell you that you dont do anything, even when you do, then it wont really make a difference to you if you stop cleaning and helping out.

Answer 8

maybe ur sister was really mad at someone or something else and took it out on u.Don`t take it to heart.Let her calm down then the 2 of u need to sit down and have a heart to heart.Let her know that her words really hurt.Then ask her to be specific about what needs to be done.

Answer 9

Maybe just "picking up when you can" isn't enough.

Babysat for the summer... it's only about 8 weeks.

Do you vaccum? Do dishes? Clean toilet/bathroom? Do laundry?

Those are the things that are most appreciated. I do that kind of stuff around my house every week.

And it is important to celan your room, even if no one goes in it. Because You probably won't live there forever, and it's not your house, it's your sis& bro in law's. So keep it clean.

Answer 10

I think that, when your sister calms down you could ask her if you two could talk.

You could start out by using some reverse psychology on her - let her know you love her and appreciate everything shes done for you.  Tell her you have been feeling badly and useless and like a burden.  You could also say you wonder why you were told you never do anything, and that it hurts.

While you're talking be kind and don't sound angry.  See what your sister says.  Stay calm and be sincere.  

You don't have to say a lot more.  In fact, it would be best if you didn't... i'm sure your sister will realize she was wrong.  at least, i hope so.

You know, sometimes people are under a lot of stress and have problems they are not dealing with.  Maybe this is the case for your sister.  and she might be taking her problems out on you, without realizing it.

im sending hugs your way

Answer 11

Oh hun don't let her get to you she may just be having a bad day?  She and your brother in law took you in so she cant be that bad can she?  I'm sure she really appreciates you babysitting for free and its a shame she doesn't thank you at least.

I don't think you are being a burden I just think she is under a little stress maybe?

Good luck