Please help with rude mom

Question

Today was my daughter birthday party.To start off with my mom brought my rude sister who never speaks a word to me knowing this would aggravate me.I didn't say anything and was as polite as could be.Then,my ex husband and I got her an ipod. When the gift was opened she turned to my sister and rolled her eyes. I thought maybe she didn't know what it was and why we would choose that gift. So I said she is always stealing mine or her older brothers so we got her one.Do you Know what one is. She just started screaming I am not stupid and to old to know. She keept going on.I asked her not to yell at me there was no reason for it. She does these kinds of things alot how should I handle this situations in the future.

P.S. at my sons birthday this year we choose not to have a party to avoid any issues and she tried to kick in my front door numerous times and sat in my driveway all night to tell my husband I was having an affair with the guy in the house which was my husbands friend he had asked to go over there tell he could get off work. He works really late. Because he was afraid she would get through the door. She was out there for 7 hrs. I didn't call the police because she is my mom next time I will though. My husband told her he too if it ever happened again.I am just out of ideas and so frustrated I just want some peaceful holidays and things with my children It happens over every get together on christmas she demands we spend almost the whole entire day and gets mad when my kids have to go to there dad's or i have to go with my husband to his family. please help

Answer 1

It sounds as if you have tried to be peaceful with her, but you need to sit her down and have the conversation with her telling her that her behavior is unacceptable.  Tell her that you may be related and you love her, but that she is no longer welcome to your home or anything you have planned as a family until she takes the steps necessary to change her behaviors.  Tell her that you will not have this negative influence in your family and that if she wants to be a part of it, then she needs to change her behavior.

This sounds really harsh, but flat out and simple it is YOUR home and YOUR family.  You have tried to be peaceful and make provisions, but enough is enough.  If she wants to be miserable and cause strife, that is her business, but you need to take measures to guard your family from it.

She obviously has issues to work through, and if she is willing for you to help her, then great.  Otherwise, you need to limit her contact with your family as much as possible. Don't stop living your life because of her.  She will either change or continue to complain and throw tantrums.  As things stand, all she will every bring you and your family is strife, so cut off her influence.

Answer 2

i dont see that you have any options other than cutting her out of your life. i normally wouldnt say that, but if she acted like that at your kids birthday then she must not care too much about them either. shes verbally abusive and no matter what you shouldnt let her be around your kids untill she gets help. by all means call the police next time!! letting your kids see this kind of behavior and not letting them have birthday partys because of her is abusive in its own way too.  

Answer 3

Just call the police and have her arrested and taken to court. No one has to deal with this, and it's easy to take care of it. It's just hard to do it to your mother, but if she's a ***** she's really no mother to you. Good luck!  

Answer 4

she sounds really immature and emotionally unstable. i don't think talking to her would work, because she'll get even more upset and who knows what she'll do. you need to get her to a counselor, stat. usually i don't approve of people that just tell you to get her to guidance, but in your case, your mom doesn't seem to be able to comprehend what's right/wrong and what's fair/unfair. good luck.