Please help with this tip jar scenario?

Question

THE PARTY: poolside gathering following a gallery opening. Only wine and beer served. 21 year old guy (son of friend) hired to bartend after much coaxing from is mother. Small glasses.. most won't have dollars. The promotion is also to try and get people to spend money on art.

The bartender is NOT dressed.

THE AGREEMENT: she asks "do you want him to work for tips or are you going to pay him..I said.. OH NO.. WE WILL PAY HIM!"

THE FOLLOW UP: she continually asks my sister (who has nothing to do with this) if it's okay that he puts out a tip jar. My sister tells her no.

RESULT: he puts out a tip jar.. we don't notice until someone tells us after party. We pay him very well. The mother and him now pretty much say that we are "uptight" and it's no big deal. We say that we told them that we'd pay and did. We say that it's up to us to say if a tip jar is appropriate.

ADDITIONAL INFO: bartender not dressed.. his girlfirend comes to party.. he leaves party drunk. There are two other guys behind the bar (great friends) who are doing barbequeing and don't get tipped at all and won't accept one.

The "bartender" is now sending me rude emails.. who's right?

Answer 1

lol

Answer 2

I agree with Ali and okiestatcwgrl. Don't do business with family or friends because if it ends badly, then you have just lost that relationship!... my aunty and uncle got a family friend (who were very close friends, and came around to celebrate xmas every year) to renovate their house, but because they cut corners the relationship was ruined and they havent been over for any reason ever since!! so firstly, you are right, and the bartender is a creep. secondy, don't get family or friends to do business with you, even if it is cheaper.

Answer 3

If you hired him you have the right to tell him if he can or cannot accept tips, like the bag boys at publix, they get fired for accepting tips i would have deducted some some pay because he disobeyed

Answer 4

if you agreed to pay him and not work on tip and you did not want him to put a tip jar then you are right you make the rules when you hire someone tell him to s***w off he has no right to complain

Answer 5

If you were able to  pay him very well, then next time hire a professional, you will have better control of the situation and not have a long lasting mess to contend with...get over the whole thing and move on....don't do it again, tho.

Answer 6

you are right

Answer 7

Do you really need someone to answer this?  The bartender is a loser and should never be hired again.  You are aboslutely right!  Block his email as spam and get this guy out of your life.  Don't waste any more time over this and sweep this dirt out of your garage.  Hopefully, everyone still had fun at the party even though he was a jerk.

Answer 8

Guess that old rule really does apply here the never do business with family or friends. Sounds to me as if the "bartender" acted rudely himself. First off you never do a job without first completely understanding the conditions that surround it more less drink on the job. However this is something that your going to have to decide on if you want to put it in the past and move on or chalk it up to experience. Which ever way it's over and there is nothing that can be done about it now so there is no use in letting it bring you down. In the end you are only ruining your day.