Please if you can Help?

Question

I have a major amount of confidence in every stage of my life EXCEPT when it comes to matters of the 'heart'... for the first 15 years of my life I was the Ugly fat girl.... and now I know or i think i'm prettier, but 15 years of being told your ugly just don't go away! So always when it comes to guys i always always think im super ugly fat and just horrid; and I want to get rid of it! The last 2 weeks i've just wanted to die i've felt im so ugly [I know self pity and I hate it; and other people have it worse than me but im not other people,...] I don't wanna feel sorry for my self I wanna be able to feel good about myself not puke every time i look in the mirror! I never really felt like this just the past 2 weeks it just kicked in!

I know its probably hard to think of anything else than see a psychologist or something but i wanna be able to solve this one on my 'own' :

Answer 1

I can understand perfectly what you mean.  I've been told all my childhood that I was ugly (i have a huuuuge nose). Now that people don't say it anymore, I feel a bit prettier but you're perfectly right - years of being told you're not pretty does not go away.

I've learned to stop allowing negative feelings to take control of me. You need to tell yourself that you're not ugly. There's such a major difference between actually being ugly and FEELING ugly. Me and you...we FEEL ugly. Change of attitude is the main thing we need to keep in mind. Think positively. Stop beating yourself down with thoughts of "i'm soo ugly." You need to FEEl good about yourself.  Even when the world doesn't think you're pretty, you will still feel fine because what you think of yourself ultimately defines who you are! I know it is hard. There are some days when I come home crying because I dont feel pretty enough. There are days when I realize that nobody calls me pretty. But there are also good days as well. Days when I feel like I'm on top of the world because i FEEL good about myself. It also helps to focus on more important things in life =) Focus on your friends and focus on your job/school. Busying yourself with fun and activities will ultimately make you forget about beauty. I don't know about you but I sure don't wonder in my head "how do i look right now" when i'm having a ton of fun with my friends. Remember some people have it much worse. Some people are born with deformities and missing parts. We should be thankful we are healthy and alive. True beauty comes from within. I have a friend who is not what is considered "pretty" but I think she's beautiful because of her lovely character and her gentle and kind spirit. She radiates God's love. That is truly pretty =)

You probably wont be able to feel great about yourself every single time you look in the mirror. But with the right thoughts in mind, you will totally think better about yourself as time increases. This is a long, hard battle/struggle. Remember you'll have bad days ahead of you but also good days as well. These past 2 weeks are probably just your bad days. The good days of feeling good about yourself will come soon, i promise. In the mean time don't think too much about looks. Having confidence in yourself will radiate and people will be attracted to your character. How you feel about yourself shows on your face! If you feel crabby, you'll look crabby. So be happy and think positively.

I hope this helps, good luck!

Answer 2

Dont think to yourself as if your ugly and fat. I am ugly and fat too and think that none of the cute boys are gonna ask me out. Just be yourself. Dont try to use lotion that is supposed to be for beauty skin or whatever. Just be a girl go out and shop in Aeropostale.Get a manicure or pedicure. Then go and well have some breakfast in Ihop or anything! Just be a girl.

Answer 3

meet guys online. if you dont have one, make a myspace. go in the classifieds and post an ad saying your looking to meet someone. look at ones guys have posted. i dont think im much more than pretty, but i hear guys tell me that im beautiful all the time. especially online. i think its sweet but it doesnt go to my head because i dont see myself as the hot chick. im not that well put together and i never wear makeup, i see drop dead gorgeous girls everywhere i go. but their hair is done like they just came out of a salon and have all kinds of makeup on. i know alot of guys like the natural look, i guess thats why im so appealing. they can see what they're getting if they ever were to wakeup next to you in the morning lol

basically what i'm saying is, figure out what you think of yourself and then go out and find guys that think your hotter than you yourself do.