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Please let me know what you think of my poem!!! Please!?

by  |  earlier

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Mississippi

The heat rises with the softness of rain

It’s thick and you feel it enter your lungs

The sun feels like it can see through you

The moon shows the lands that lay ahead

The water is the father of my people

The people that see the beauty in this place

The emeralds that mark this land shine with

The trees of pine that grow tall and stay true

The birds sing and never leave this place

And early morning when the breeze is gentle

You can truly feel the magic of my home

And when you’re lost and you no longer follow any path,

When you don’t have a friend in sight, come here

A stranger will lead you to his house and share all he has

He will give until he can give no longer, until you have all he has

Brotherly love is alive in her great people… along with her soul

Her soul is so loud but you must try to find it

If you listen closely when you’re in the Delta

The magical flat lands where the soft music plays

On some hot humid night you can capture it

Like a butterfly in a jar you can see it shimmer and glow

That soft glow is my Mississippi, the Mississippi I know.

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  1. In my personal opinion, the ending is the part where you have to really capture the reader, and you did AWESOME!! I was wondering where you were going with this poem at first, but this poem is very, very awesome!!! :-D I like this. I have read many, many poems (over 100 poems at least (I'm 15 years old)) and this is definately up there w/my favorites. Another thing i liked about this poem is that you proved that a poem doesn't have to ryme to be a good poem, your poem didn't ryme at all times (lol), but you did make a great poem that i would love to read over and over again. You kinda make me want to go to Mississippi.


  2. its beautiful!!!! i can see every part in my mind and i love it!

  3. It's hard to tell what the second line in the second stanza is about...

    besides that, I liked reading.

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