Please let me know what you think of this poem?

Question

There are lesions on my lover’s brain

And scars upon her spine

She’s lost sensation in her hands

Her head hurts all the time

There is no cure for her disease

No hope for an escape

The gleaming needles meant to slow

But not prevent the rape.

The doctors say she could go blind

Or lose the strength to walk

Her personality could shift...

But right now that’s just talk

Because:

There is courage in my lover’s brain

And iron in her spine.

She’s lost sensation in her hands but

She’ll have the use of mine.

Answer 1

I like it..

Answer 2

That was beautiful :(

Answer 3

this is good.

really good. and touching :D

Answer 4

Very down to heart.

Answer 5

I really like this. No real bumps in the reading--flows very well.

My only suggestion: The Because line is a bit distracting. You may want to just incorporate it into the next line. You can do it without upsetting the rhythm.

For example:

For there's courage in my lover's brain

Good work here.

Thanks for sharing it.

Answer 6

I think it's lovely. Keep writing.

Answer 7

WOW, I realy really really really like this poem and I'm not trying to kiss up to you.

Its betters than alot of those crappy love poems out there, wow....prob the best love poem i've read on here...short sweet simple and to the point

star for you :)

Answer 8

"Hi!"

I loved your poem, very sad though.

Well written and structured as well.

WELL DONE!  : )

Answer 9

I was moved by your poem it was touching and sad

Answer 10

i think its beautiful.

you're very talented.

:D

Answer 11

Wow. That's actually a really decent poem. No improvements that I can think of right now. It seriously is WOW.

Answer 12

I really enjoyed your play on words and tempo of the poem itself. very nice :)