Please... need the best disses in the world!!!?

Question

and not lame ones... come on... seriously please i want perfect and insultin disses!!!

Answer 1

ur moms so fat the only thing stopping her to the gym was the door

ur moms so fat when she bet down,it was a solar eclips.

ur moms so fat when sh walked infornt of the window we lost 4 days of sunligh.....hahahahhaha

 

 

Answer 2

 manu singh got fuked by a he did't know

 

Answer 3

sunny is so fat that when he died god could'nt lift his spirits up

 

Answer 4

sunny and raju did it together

Answer 5

sunny is so desprete he had with his mum

Answer 6

you know how i make love to your mum, i w**k in my hand and through it at her

Answer 7

your mom is so fat that when she wears high heels they turn into flip flops,

the ghetto called they want there a**e back

by ross bagnall +chelsea bisseker x

Answer 8

Your So Ugly People Use Ya Face As An Instrument  ,            By Joe   :D

Answer 9

 yo momma so dumb she got ran over by a parked car

Answer 10

 your mom is so stuipid when she went to get her new phone service she went to taco bell 

Answer 11

you so ugly when you look in the mirror your reflection commits suicide

Answer 12

yhuur soo small when yhuu put yhuur hands in yhuur pocket yhuu touch yhuur ankles

 

Answer 13

If Someones Wiping Their Nose, Say "Dont Wipe Your Nose! Wipe Your a*s! It Stinks In Here!

Answer 14

You're so ugly when you went to the mall, security said "sorry, we don't allow dogs in here".

Answer 15

yo mama so fat u hav to take a plane to get past her=]

Answer 16

your so ugly once you were born your mom put u beside s**t and said twins

Answer 17

yo mamma so fat that after s*x i roll twice and im still on the b***h!! 

Answer 18

u so old your berth cectificit expired

 

Answer 19

your so stupid that when u got locked in a grocery store u starved 2 death=]

Answer 20

ur such of a hobo another hobo called u a hobo!

Answer 21

 Your so fat your fat!

Answer 22

 Yo mama's so fat when she went out in a yellow dress everyone yelled, "YO TAXI!!!"

Answer 23

 Yo mudder, is soo fat.....that wen she jump fo joy, SHE GET STUCK!!!

Answer 24

Your So Stupid You Tried To Steal A Free Sample

Answer 25

I Didn't Log In Sorry

Answer 26

Your So Fat You Made Fat Albert Jelous.

Answer 27

 this is a joke but also works as a diss.

so there are three midgets sitting at the bar.

the first one says "man i think i have the smallest hands in the world" he then looks through the world record book, and smiled as he said "wow i really do!"

the second one says "man i think i have the smallest feet in the world" he looks in the record book and smiles while saying "sweet! i really do!"

the third one says" man i think i have the smallest p***s in the world" he then checks the record book, then looks up almost in tears. he then says "who the f**k is (Insert name of person you want to diss)"

Answer 28

yo mama is so ugly people mistake her as yo a*s. they say hey mama is that bum walking beside that poor boy. when she went to berger king the maneger said I want this a*s out of here its odvious it hasent been wiped in a while.

Answer 29

you must of bin born on the highway because thats where most acidents happen

Answer 30

God made mountains, god made trees, god made you but we all make mistakes

Answer 31

your so ugly u turned mudusa in to stone

Answer 32

 your so ugly when u saw bob the builder he sed i can fix that

 

Answer 33

 if someone says your c**k is small just say from sticking it in your mum too much and tell your mum to stop changing her lipstick my d**k looks like a rainbow

Answer 34

your teeth are so yellow you made traffic stop

you are so fat when you went on a scale it said to be continued

your so fat when you turned around the world ended

Answer 35

 YO MAMA IS SO FAT THAT SHE THINKS THAT "DUNKIN DONUTS" IS A BASKETBALL TEAM!

YO MAMAS SO STUPID THAT WHEN SHE WANTS TO LISTEN TO 50 CENT (THE SINGER), SHE PUTS A QUARTER IN EACH EAR!

YO MAMAS SO STUPID THAT SHE THINKS "STARBUCKS" IS A BANK!

Answer 36

 your so fat you went to the sumo wrestling everybody ran away

Answer 37

 your momma's so stupid she revised for her blood test

Answer 38

your so fat that when santa claus saw you he said do you want to take my place for the day

Answer 39

your mamas so fat when she go's 2 the movies she sits beside everyone

Answer 40

your so fat when you saw Fat Albert he said ow someone toke my place.

Answer 41

your so white when Michel Jackson saw you he said owww!!!

Answer 42

your so old you were alive since the last super

Answer 43

if barbie isn't a s**t then why do you have to BUY her boyfriends

Answer 44

i wanted to by your body but to bad a tramp brought it

Answer 45

Your birth certificate is an appology letter from the condom company...

You must have been born on a highway cuz thats where most accidents happen...

Shut up, you'll never be the man your mother is...

Answer 46

you can also say . u so ugly u make chuckie look like a rol model (plz 4give me with my spelling)

Answer 47

you are so ugly that when you entered the ugly competiton the people said "sorry we dont take professionals"

Answer 48

best disses in the world

Answer 49

yor so dirty wen u had it wid yor mum u got H.I.V

yor so ugly the govement changed yor birthday to halloween

person 1: ifyorgaysaywhat (fast)
person 2: what?
person 2: dumbass! lol

Answer 50

yo mama so FAT even dora couldnt exsplore her! =) bye matty *

Answer 51

Your mama's so fat she needs a boomerang to tie a belt round her trousers

Answer 52

Your mum is so fat when she step on the Weight Scales it says...'to be continued'...

Your mum is so fat she once went on a seafood diet...whenever she saw food she ate it!

Your mum is so fat folk exercise by jogging around her!

Your mum is so fat when she bends over, we enter Daylight Saving Time.

Your mum is so fat she sat on a Nintendo Gamecube and it turned into a gameboy

Your mum is so fat she make Kiko the Whale look like a Smartie

Your mum is so fat NASA plan to use her to shore up the hole in the Ozone layer

Your mum is so fat she was measured at 38-26-36 and that was just the left arm...

Your mum is so fat small objects orbit her.

Your mum is so fat she make olympic sumo wrestlers look anerixic.

Your mum is so fat when I tell her to haul a*s, she gotta make two trips.

Your mum is so fat when she farted she launched herself into orbit.

Your mum is so fat she lost a game at Hide&Seek only cos I spotted her...behind Mount Everest.

Your mum is so fat when I had to swerve to avoid hitting her on the road I ran out of Petrol!

Your mum is so fat she could be the eighth continent.

Your mum is so fat she nearly put Safeway out of business

Your mum is so fat the only thing that's attracted to her is gravity.

Your mum is so fat her Uni graduation photo was an aerial

Your mum is so fat when she auditioned for a part in Raiders of the Lost Ark she got the part of the big Rolling Ball.

Your mum is so fat she make Jabba the Hutt look anorexic.

Your mum is so fat her fave food is seconds.

Your mum is so fat her belt size is Equator.

Your mum is so fat she eats Desert out of a Trash Can lid

Your mum is so fat she wears an 'X' jacket and Copters attempt to land on her

Your mum is so fat she shows up on radar.

Your mum is so fat she needs a map to find her butt.

Your mum is so fat she fell into the Grand Canyon....and got stuck!

Your mum is so fat she wears an asteroid belt.

Your mum is so fat her Passport photo says 'Picture is continued overleaf'

Your mum is so fat she has TB ... 2 bellys.

Your mum is so fat she's once, twice, three times a lady.

Your mum is so fat she was in the Daily Record last week on page 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9.

Your mum is so fat the circus use her as a trampoline

Your mum is so fat stunt agencies use her as an air mattress

Your mum is so fat when she opens the Fridge it says - 'I give up...'

Your mum is so fat she got a new gig at the Cinema...she works as the screen

Your mum is so fat she once told me 'I could eat a horse'...believe me, she wasn't kidding!

Your mum is so fat she deep fries her toothpaste.


Your mum is so fat that if she was an Aeroplane, she'd be a Jumbo Jet.

Your mum is so fat that he's half Scottish, half Irish and half American

Your mum is so fat she fell off a boat and the Captain yelled, "Land Ahoy!!!"

Your mum is so fat, when he bungee jumped he went straight to h**l...

Your mum is so fat, that when her Beeper goes off folk think she's backing up.

Your mum is so fat when she goes to Gap the only thing she can fit into is the Dressing Room

Your mum is so fat she gotta buy clothes by the furlon

Your mum is so fat that when she burped he blew out all yo dad's teeth...that why he so ugly!

Your mum is so fat when you climb on top of her your ears pop.

Your mum is so fat that when she sat on a Rainbow skittles fell out.

Your mum is so fat that even Richard Simmons can't help laughing

Your mum is so fat she uses Soccer balls for earrings.

Your mum is so fat she can't even tie his own shoelaces

Your mum is so fat that God created her...and on the seventh day rested.

Your mum is so fat the Japanese Sumo Wrestling squad had to turn her down.

Your mum is so fat...we're inside her right now.

Your mum is so fat that Weight Watchers threw her out for breaking the scales.

Your mum is so fat that on a scale of 1 to 10 she a 747.

Your mum is so fat she hasn't seen his feet for 10 years

Your mum is so fat that when she farted, Mars came out...and I ain't talkin bout the 'sweetie'

Your mum is so fat that when she went for a swim in the ocean she caused a 60 foot tidal wave.

Your mum is so fat so fat she got his very own Post Code

Your mum is so fat she's on Both sides of the family.

Your mum is so fat I ask her to go get a Curry and she bring back 80 pounds of gravy.

Your mum is so fat she sat on 4 quarters and made a dollar.

Your Mum is so fat she uses a bed mattress for a maxipad

Your mum is so fat she got more nooks and Crannies than a Ploughman's pastry

Your mum is so fat she got a new job DJ'ing for the Ice Cream Van.

Your Mum is so fat all chairs in the house have their own seatbelts.

Your mum is so fat when it says All you can eat it still ain't enough.

Your mum is so fat she plays pool with Venus....and Neptune...and pluto...and...

Your mum is so fat she looks at a menu and says "i'll have that please"

Answer 53

ur mums so fat wen she went on a scale it sed to be continued

Answer 54

Your so poor, you chase the rubbish men with your shopping list.

Your mum is so desperate; she had it with your dad.

Your mums so old she knew burger king when he was a prince.

Your mum is like a vacuum cleaner, she sucks, she blows & gets laid in the wardrobe.

Person 1: hey, did you get the license plate number?
Person 2: from what?
Person 1: from the car that ran over your face


Brb just going to fill up your water bowl.

Your mum is so dirty, I asked her what was for lunch and she said tuna fish surprise!

Your mum is like a squirrel, she can’t keep nuts out of her mouth.

Matee, You have more STD’s then GCSE’s.

Your mum is so fat she has to wear 2 watches, because she covers two time zones!

Your mum is so ugly she turned medusa to stone!

What was that? You have brain freeze? But doesn’t that require a brain first?

Your mum is so poor, she went to the wishing well, made a wish and threw in a piece of paper that said IOU.
With a face like yours, i wish i was blind.

Get a life!   Why don’t you check up on ebay and see if they are selling one?

Why do you even get up in the morning?

Your mum is so ugly, not even rice crispies would talk to her!

You’re so stupid you went to court, the judge said order & you said Big Mac & Chips .

& if anyone says any to you, just agree with them example;  
other person: your mum is so fat when a bus hit her she said, 'hey who threw that stone at me?'
you: and what?! atleast i have a REAL life, you had to buy yours off ebay.

Answer 55

u so stiuped u went to court and the judge said order u said big mac n fries