Please proof read my vegetarian thesis!!?

Question

I have an EXTREMELY important essay due that will account for 30% of my grade and I need help! Luckily, I am instructed to have someone proof read it, so any input would be greatly appreciated!

It is a "persuasive essay" arguing this thesis:

"For people concerned about their health, vegetarianism is a healthier option than a diet containing meat."

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PS: If there is any information that is incorrect please let me know!!! Thanks!

Answer 1

Uhh great but you  might want to clearly state what your trying to get across... for example using your thesis.

"For people concerned about their health, vegetarianism is a healthier option rather to a diet containing meat."

or

"For people concerned about their health, vegetarianism is a healthier option for those looking for a diet free of meats."

Ect.. Good-Luck!