Please rate and comment on my poem?

Question

In A Land Without Time

In a land without time,

No clock and no watches;

Would you ever be early,

Could you ever be late?

In a land without time,

No clocks and no watches;

Could the bus always be there,

Would you ever have to wait?

In a land without time,

No days months or years;

Could you ever get older,

Would you always be a kid?

In a land without time,

No days, months or years;

Could an auction ever close

Would you ever have to bid?

In a land without time,

No seasons, no semesters;

Could it ever get hot,

Would it ever be cool?

In a land without time,

No seasons, no semesters;

Would you ever have to work,

Could you ever go to school?

In a land without time,

No calendars and no schedules;

Could you ever look back,

Would you ever plan ahead?

In a land without time,

No calendars and no schedules;

Could you really be living,

Would you ever be dead?

Please rate and comment this. I appreciate all critiques and criticism. Thanks

Answer 1

Wow I love it.  I give it a 9 out of 10.  I don't really like the fourth stanza.  It doesn't flow well with the rest of the poem.  If you change that, its a 10

Answer 2

Unique, clever, well executed.  I like it!  The repetition is cool, it'd be a great song.

Good job!

Answer 3

It's beautiful. I'd give it 10 out of 10... keep writing more!

Answer 4

It is definitely interesting. It such a different topic. I cannot rate it - me do not like rating. But yeah worth reading.

Would you have a look at this, please?   http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 5

It's a really good poem...makes you really think about things doesn't it?  On a scale from 1- 10, I'd give it a 9!  Keep up the good work.

Answer 6

Not bad.

Answer 7

I think its very clever. out of a 10 id give it a 8

Answer 8

3rd stanza - 4th line - I suggest instead of 'Would you always be a kid?' which to me sounds kind of childish, possably 'Would you remain youthful' or 'Would you remain young?' or 'Would you always be young'

Other than that, I love your poem. It is something that I am sure most people wouldn't think to write about.

Beautifully written

=]

Answer mine please

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?...

Answer 9

It's very good but it should be rewritten to not take up so much space.  Like this:

In a land without time, no clocks and no watches;

Would you ever be early, could you ever be late?

In a land without time, no clocks and no watches;

Could the bus always be there, would you ever have to wait?

In a land without time, no days, months or years;

Could you ever get older, would you always be a kid?

In a land without time, no days, months or years;

Could an auction ever close, would you ever have to bid?

In a land without time, no seasons, no semesters;

Could it ever get hot, would it ever be cool?

In a land without time, no seasons, no semesters;

Would you ever have to work, could you ever go to school?

In a land without time, no calendars and no schedules;

Could you ever look back, would you ever plan ahead?

In a land without time, no calendars and no schedules;

Could you really be living, would you ever be dead?

I give it a 8.

Answer 10

I think it's AMAZING! im serious!

i would give you a 9 or 9.5 out of 10

i dont like the 4rth stanza that much. if you could change that, i'd give a 10!

great job! im amazed...

Answer 11

Very well done!

Answer 12

I say it was an 8 out of 10. It was pretty good. It made me think.

Answer 13

7.5