Question:

Please rate my anime/manga/fanfiction story!!?

by  |  earlier

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i dont have a name anyone have any ideas?,and im working to finish this story and hopefully get it published ^_^ lol,but im just going to put the first chapter up and i want you guys to rate it on a scale 1-10.thanks so much!(Naomi:http://i359.photobucket.com/albums/oo35/...)

(summary)

ok my idea was about a girl named Naomi,she has these strange dreams of a world that seemed perfect in everyway!Except,it isnt a normal world...there are demons,mages and everything in between.When Naomi stumbles apon a small,light pink egg (she was holding it when she woke up) everything starts to change.it soon hatches into a little angel-like girl.everything thats happening will start to make sense,she has 1 last dream...and it will change her life forever.

ok heres Chapter 1 sneek peek ^_^

Ive always been the kind of girl who did no wrong,who sat in the front of class and made sure her assignments were in on time.The girl who didnt think boys were the only thing in the world,and didnt drool at the sight of a cute guy.I made a few friends but most of them stopped talking to me after a while,but i didnt care.i dont mind being the average girl in school....

Naomi felt cold,her arms and legs have gone numb,she couldnt even open an eye...just than she felt another presence near her,she felt them feel her cheak with their warm touch.She felt the cold shiver down her back.The fingers that were brushing her face moved down to her neck,they stood still for a moment,than the warm feeling went away as the fingers Naomi had felt soon were lifted off of her. Naomi felt her heart slowing down,she felt even colder than before.."Is she alive?"asked a male voice.it sounded like it was coming from the other side of me..."Yeah,she has a pluse.Do you think shes..."Asked another Male voice. "Maybe...shes not from here.so she MUST be.."said the other voice. "only one way to know for sure..."

...

Just than Naomi heard a loud bang!She sat up straight,it was her Sensei. "Hanamori-Chan.Pay attention!"She said,and walked back to the white board... 'Was that a dream.I swear all of that was real.Oh well,i guess something are better left unexplained....'

Naomi let out a small sigh and went back to writing down the days lession....

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4 ANSWERS


  1. Excellent choice for Naomi !!!! You picked a really really cute animated character for her. Really cute, does she look like you? wow. I'm curious what happened to the pink egg she woke up with that changed into an angel? Is that earlier in this new version? Is it with her ( inthought) or how is it related to her being in class and having a strange dream? Keep going this story can only get better, combine the two parts you have so far, add details and start with new paragraphs. ^_^


  2. wow!

    this is completely different to ur other story but this is... quiet a lot better!... its just coz it has a really mysteries atmosphere! and i could tell through ur other questions that uve been doin research! and really i like the pic althought her clothes really did confuse so thanx for tellin me that that wasnt wat she was actually wearin .....

    in total i would say 10! if possible i really do think it would make a great manga! and even possibly an anime too! now im gettin ahead of myself... lol.


  3. Not Bad 7/10 :)

  4. Hi !

    A nice , and well written , story with a cute lady !

    =^..^=

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