Question:

Please rate my poem, i rarely write poems. ?

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Don't be afraid to go back in time and see the life you lived.

Artificial smiles in a world stained with pain.

People you trusted,

You deemed as your friends.

Only later they were icing on a cake.

No one's understood you.

A book by its cover,

They threw you away.

Your heart's vulnerable,

Breaking to pieces day-after-day.

Don't give up.

It's not the end.

When everyone's turned their backs on you,

Know I'll be always there for you 'til the end.

Like shadows that never fade,

It's inevitable for your angel not to walk away.

So don't look down.

Just take my hand and I'll kill away the pain.

I'll do all that I can to help you shine bright once again.

Through death and h**l,

I'll forever be your friend.

On a bed of nails,

We won't turn pale.

Don't give up.

It's not the end.

Six feet under,

My heart won't mend.

Everything that has an ending has a beginning in the end.

It's not the other way around.

So turn around, my dear,

'Cause it's time to leave our mark.

It's the series finale of what had been.

Two will become One.

One will leave a legacy for the world to learn its inconsistencies.

Let's hit the reset and see the bliss tonight.

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5 ANSWERS


  1. Wow! It's been a long time since I've read a poem like that! That was beautiful!  


  2. stirring...

    .

  3. ...

    You see that? Those three dots? That's how I was left when I was done reading this. Freaking speechless, man!

    That was phenomenal, hands down. I honestly liked it a lot. I could feel the exact emotion of comfort that was trying to be portrayed, and the words would definitely help heal someone.

    Excellent!

  4. I think you have the beginnings---notes---for several poems. I suggest you go over the poem over the course of the next several days and pick out individual themes/feelings/memories/ideas that are going in different directions, and follow through with them. Poetry is often written from feelings and real life experiences. The problem is that some of us attempt to express too many feelings/experiences in one sitting. Perhaps this is because we have felt so much and feel we have a lot to say about it. We need to express it. Taking it in parts will set you up for many poems to come.

  5. hey i really like this poem

    in the depths that fill your mind

    it's time to leave the world behind

    in the love... lost

    or it is it... lost

    i don't know, i don't care

    just be worried, just be scared.. nah

    it's ok... turn around... it won't be... all that bad... it's not all that sad... hit the button... i'm not all that mad at you... so what do you do... hit it again tell me one through two... it's not a night off... it's a night to do... and move... ya i know you grove... hit it again like 1,2,3... you see the situation, the worlds laughing at me... at me?  well h**l what's the 1,2,3?  i know i know patiently... we see, we fall, we stand we rise, never got a compliment but man demise is not that sweet.  so talk is cheap,  so use it up quickly it's not that neat.. i hear.. voices calling... we're all falling down... but wait... look what's on the ground... you reap what you sow and we planted good seeds... maybe some of us is all the world needs like please don't take this the wrong way... i'm on k... but let me finish hard like a star like i'm on the a1a kickin back beach bums in hand... no not the people they call beach bums... this chick and the man... he stands.... he knows... his life really blows... he really missed this bus but now he knows... what does he do... turn around like you?  nah no wait... **** we still go better things to do like boo

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