Please read..I need advice/its a bit long?

Question

I am in love with a distant friend and my jealousy is starting to depress me.

This all began through an Indian social network place,

I never expected anything more than casual friendship...maybe a little mischief here from time to time. But nothing that touched my emotions, until I came across this guy named Pankaj. We started out innocently...at least I did....

I wanted to know about his world. I've always been fascinated with anything foriegn. That was the intrigue.

No man had been so sweet with his words. We would chat for hours, distorting our sleeping pattern. I liked how he boosted up my self-esteem...called me loving names. Then things got sexual. Being the way I am, I'd never imagine I'd be so explicit. Pankaj was lusting like mad. I began to soon feel used. What can come out of this stupid internet thing? I told myself each time he said "I really love you."

His reasoning was that s*x was part of his affection for me.

Months later, my skepticism got the best of me.

This is a glimpse of it:

pankaj: thrs ths panjabi gal Heer Kaur

pankaj: frm Chandigarh .. the very same place frm whr i had my first serious relationship and infact the same university too...wha a coincidence

pankaj:She has been insistin me to visit her frm past 2 months constantly

pankaj: i ve bn refusin makin one or the other xcuse

pankaj: since i am chkin on her being really honest to me

pankaj: if she is

pankaj: thn i wil probally c her

(he barely tells me this when I mentioned that a guy from high school has been calling me to go out. I honestly don't like him

So I told Pankaj this)

This makes me question his "love."

I start sounding serious...which he really hates

lol

He replys

pankaj :here we go again with ur stupid asumptions

pankaj: i seriously love u

pankaj: but u wont realise until its too late

pankaj if u cant c my real care

pankaj: mayb its sold smwhr nd u cn get it by payin fo it

I get tell him this

"I'd rather waste my money on something that last longer"

The idiot goes on that I can't tell the differences between like or love and that I'm going haywire...when he's only been intimate with 2 people..according to him.

How can I not react this way, when he's telling me about a girl he's planning to get serious with (even calculating eachothers birthcharts). She's indian and so is he, and he must follow tradition, I suppose.

I hate it when he claims he loves me

its mostly sexual.

then he comes up with

pankaj: u r too good fo me actually

pankaj: u deserve someone even better

We came to a final agreement, to "prove" his so called Love for me.

He's willing to chat normally....

I know dear reader what you are thinking:

This girl is really really stupid

Answer 1

No, I don't think you are really stupid.  I understand how you feel.  It's very easy to get your emotions entangled into an on-line relationship.

However, you must remember what this is: an on-line relationship.  This is not an in-person relationship, and it should never be.  He has a serious girlfriend, and you have your own life.  Look, all this should be is a friendship.  A friendship that involves some flirting, maybe, but still a friendship.  Above all else, you deserve respect from him.  If he was truly a friend worth your time, then he would respect your wishes.

If he does not comply with your wishes, dump him.  Just stop talking to him.  You don't deserve to get your heart broken.

If he does respect you, however, you will be fine.  Just make sure that you never give out personal information, and this can be a friendly and harmless flirtation.

Look, I know you love him.  But you must understand that this love cannot be attained.  Do you really want to go to India for this guy?  Probably not.  So take what enjoyment you can out of this, but keep in perspective that this will not be a serious relationship.  There are better, more available guys out there.  Just open your eyes.

Answer 2

It is a waste of time and energy both.