Please read. I need parenting advise

Question

I am a single father with two beautiful boys ages 8 & 9. Their great grandfather on their moms side passed away last week. He always lived miles away from them and the boys only saw him a few times over the years, so I don't really think they were affected by his death that much. Also they did not want to attend the Funeral. Now here comes the hard part. I just found out that my grandmother has about a week left to live and the boys have been around her all their lives. I am confussed about taking them to the Funeral and really don't know what to do. Also my boys are starting school next week and I think that two deaths in the family and starting school might be too much for them to handle. Any thoughts or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

Answer 1

We always want to protect our children from unpleasant things. Unfortunalty in life we go through many unpleasant situations. I think the boys should go to the funeral and say goodbye to their grandma. They need a closure just like adults do. No one ever wants to go to a funeral but, sometimes we need to go. You will be surprised children are stronger then we give them credit for. They may even beable to help lighten things up some for other family members who are grieving.  

Answer 2

kids are a lot stronger than most adults give them credit for. let them go to say goodbye it will also teach them about enjoying people while they are here. but talk to them first and see what their feelings are and explain why it is necessary to pay your last respects not only to people you are very close to, but also people who we just befriend.

Answer 3

They are old enough to go to the funeral.  My daughter is 7 and if her grandma died, which she sees frequently - 1-2x week) I would have no second thoughts about taking her to the funeral (but I'm talking about a grandma, not a great-grandma).  If your kids did not want to attend the other funeral, ask if they want to attend this one.

Answer 4

I dont know your boys ... so I cannot give great advice when it comes to them and funerals. I do think if they were around your grandmother quite a bit, they are going to be more affected by her death than the great grandfather they didnt see often.

The part I wanted to suggest is that you make sure their school counselor and teachers are aware of the deaths in the family. This way if the boys act out in any way, they know that there is a reason and can help them work through it.

Answer 5

i would hire a babysitter and pay your respects to their great grandfather.

and i would leave the decision up to them about their grandmother.

Answer 6

I would ask the boys if they want to attend your grandmother's funeral.  They are old enough to know what death is and since they knew her failry well may want to say their goodbyes.  I wouldn't make it mandatory, but if they want to go they should be able to.

Answer 7

My girls were younger than your chldren when my grandmother died. She was grandma to them too. They came to the funeral with the rest of my family. They did cry, but they got their chance to say goodbye. That was important to me.

Answer 8

death is a fact of life. the younger you teach them that the less scared of it they will be take them to the funeral because what if they ask "wheres grandma" i bet they want to go to her funeral and see her resing in peace

help?

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