Please read (honest opinions)?

Question

It's definitely not my best poem. It was just fun, I made it because I was once on a school volleyball team, and everyone liked the name I made, "Flying Pigs."

The Flying Pigs

Back in my day

Pigs flew, flocks of them

Dozing on the clouds

Snorting and grumbling with the thunder.

Sometimes

They would land on someone's yard

Pushing warm nuzzles

Into the hands of delighted children.

They would allow themselves to be stroked

Across the short fur

And soft flap-like ears

To the tips of their springy tails.

Their wings, thrice the length

Of their short, stout limbs

Were like feathery pinatas, but made

To catch the winds and zephyrs.

Back in my day

Pigs flew, flocks of them

Dozing on the clouds

Snorting and grumbling with the thunder.

Answer 1

I think instead of repeating the first verse you should come up with a different conclusion. It fell flat at the end

Some ending lines could be:

**As I gaze upon my piglet

He isn't built for flight

Not like pigs of yesterday

Yet he still holds a special magic

Answer 2

I think it's adorable and would fare well with a children's book publisher.

Answer 3

I love this image - great read. Did you know that when saying "when pigs fly" is a way of saying that something will never happen. But I have a mind that says - nothing is impossible - so a flying pig is fine with me ♥

Here is a great picture:

http://bbq.isgoodfor.us/wp-content/Flyin...

Answer 4

its an ok poem but it would be even better if it rhymed!!!

Answer 5

It is good but don't tell no body that you made it up from the valley ball team you were on because it is just describing a pig, i am, not a pig fans sorry but it is good very good!!!!

Answer 6

i agree, dont repeat the first verse. also, 'zephyrs' adds a nice odd touch to the end. keep writing!