Please read my poem "BLINDED BY THE LIGHT"?

Question

Blinded By The Light

Candle lit like war time window

No reason to burn

Not an emotion to flip

Yet still played in turn

Who's up and who's out

Not close to a race

Unless unshackled

The dice and hand need not a purpose

Only under circumstance is shown face

Only under a dream does feet chase

Free of thought for poor enough

Humble in theory for the time is rich

Another picture purchased by sight

Clearly seen blue sky with sun light

Hours from now engulfed by black

Neither enriched nor of lack

Conditions become rough

Or concentration is not this place

A good stair for a moment

Blank is the darkness

Wick gets lit

Shadows appear around the candle

An awareness

They want to be seen.

Thank you for reading my poem, now if you would please respond with your opinion, emotion, or thoughts that would be much appreciated

Answer 1

My first impression when I read your poem was that it had to do with the supernatural.  I saw in my mind a room with a candle being lit for ceremonial purposes, like in an earth religion such as wicca (or similar spirituality).

There is also a lot of imagery that is mysterious.  It is very interesting...I am a writer also.

Answer 2

It's good. I think it could be improved with punctuation. There are lines that seem they should be spoken sharpen than others, and so a comma, semi-colon, whatever here and there, would improve it endlessly.

I like the emphasis and contrast between what dark and light mean and resemble within your poem. The first line is perfect.

Answer 3

First... Compliment: When focused I am sure you could be a great poet.

Now...

It isn't any good in my opinion. It feels like you are trying to be to witty and obscure.  

ie: "free of thought for poor enough" this means nothing.  much of your poem is a waist of words, there is a complete lack of intent, from my view point anyway.  

I am sure others will say it is amazing, maybe they are smarter then be.  However I would challenge them to explain what it is about, and what is amazing about it.

Answer 4

I really liked it!!! Great job!