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Question

i was raped,lets not go through that.but told my teacher about it because i told my parents and they did nothing.he''my teacher'' helped me alot.but now i kinda regret telling him cause he's changed towards me.he hardly answers when i talk to him.he looks at me and when i look back he turns away.he seems to be backing away from me lately.i was talking to him and i touched his hands ''not meaning anything''and he pulled away and said i'm sorry and just left.

what's wrong with him. does he hate being around me beacuse he knows i was raped?

he trys his best to avoid me.i don't want him to give me hugs and kisses i just want him to treat me like the other students. just like before.and he knows i count on him. and i must confess he maybe know i like him.but i would never do anything stupid to hurt him. i got mad and cussed at him. i said sorry and ran out.i hate him for doing this to me.

so my question is,would you want to stay away from someone that was raped?

Answer 1

No, but some men are uncomfortable with it (unfortunately, some women get very little support from the husbands/boyfriends when this happens too).  Part of it might be that he is used to thinking of students non-sexually, as any good teacher should, and although rape is really an act of aggression and not one of s*x, it is hard to avoid that it takes place sexually.  It may have brought up some sexual feelings that he is having a hard time dealing with.  Someone could have said, "Oh, that Princess P - she's just a s**t.  Everyone knows that!  I'm sure she made the whole thing up!"  He may have thought differently about you after that, ashamed that he believed and was feeling bad for you.

I'm sorry this happened to you.  It is a horrible experience, regardless of your prior sexual history, and a lot of people don't understand that there is a real qualitative difference between having s*x with someone voluntarily and being raped, even if the rape is not violent.

If the other teacher hates you, ignore what s/he said she heard him say, but that does bring up another possibility.  If he was looking into how to get help for you, it is possible that he heard things about you from other people.

Answer 2

Provided you are remaining as a student and nothing more, then the teacher shouldn't be avoiding you, however, as a male teacher, it is possible to be uncomfortable with the knowledge, especially since your parents have seemed to want to ignore it and you didn't actually take it to legal authorities, the Police.  Your teacher doesn't hate you, just may not have the proper training himself to deal with a rape victim.

Answer 3

no, i wouldn't want to stay away from someone that was raped providing the relationship between myself and the victim was one of an adult nature.  your relationship with this teacher isn't.  you've put him in a situation that could jeopardize his career.  he feels you want more from him than a normal teacher/student interaction and if he gives in he can forfit his career. and to be honest, if he does give in and has a relationship that is more than a professional one, then he needs to not be teaching kids as that would border on perversion

back off from this guy and leave him alone.  please seek counseling from someone who is qualified and is in a position to help you.

Answer 4

You are a young female and your teacher is an adult man.  He is doing what he should be doing, which is to NOT cross the line.  He appears to not want to give you the slightest idea that anything inappropriate could happen between you two.  He HAS to be extremely careful or have both his reputation and career ruined.  He is being respectful of you, your naivete, and your psychological well-being.  You may be giving him too much attention for his comfort level.  It was extremely inappropriate for you to touch his hand.  He is there to teach and it appears that that's all he wants to do.  In the future, be more considerate of the difficulties a male teacher faces and talk to another female whenever you have female issues.  This is for your protection as well.