Please....some help??????????????

Question

my wife had a very hard life... her father raped her many times and was very violent with her......we met shortly after she had gotten away from him.....I was disgusted to hear about the things she went through...we fell in love and got married however she is not comfortable with love making probably due to what what she went through....she isn't comfortable with me seeing her naked or making love with her clothes on.....she knows that I would never hurt her......she just gets really afraid when we come close to making love....how can I make her feel safe and comfortable with me so that I can express my love for her???

some people mentioned counseling

what exactly would a counselor do if we saw one???

Answer 1

NOTHING!!!! Speaking from experience,it took me awhile to get comfortable with my husband while making love.I hated the fact that he saw me naked and i hated the fact that i was carrying all this excess baggage from what had happened to me.

So the only thing that i can offer you is:PATIENCE.

Talk gently to her,let her know that you are NOTHING like her father.Start of with gentle kisses(and yes it will be hard),if you want to, let her know that she can be the one to instigate the two of you making love,it MIGHT make her feel a bit more comfortable.

JUST DONT TRY TO RUSH HER.

REMEMBER PATIENCE IS THE KEY.