Please some ppl with advice./..are these normal feelings post-partem?

Question

The past week i have developed new feelings of sadness disappointment etc. I keep thinking about my "old life' and thinking of the freedom I had. My baby is a month old, and I love her dearly, but I keep thinking about hoiw I might not be a good mother, how she is my responsibility for the next 18 yrs etc. I dont understand why I am suddenly having these feelings now when I didnt before and thought during prergnancy I had "accepted" the notion of giving up my freedom for another compeltely helpless little being. I love my daughter SO much and if anything happened to her I'd go balistic and lose it, but at the same time, I keep thinking whenever I see young women my age (20-somethings) who dont have children and are clubbing working on fancy careers etc I feel SO sad and envious. I can still work on my career when shes a little older like maybe one or two, but I am wondering why i have these feelings?

also the pregnancy wasnt planned and I went with it though, I was going by the rhythm method and it was honestly the FIRST time in my life I had s*x without being on some form of brith control so I didn't think I would get pregnant. When I found out, I was shocked but happy and looked forward to having her this whole time but now I have these feelings and I feel terrible for having them. Help!

also my life wasnt anything gr8 b4 shes the best thing ever but still...I keep having these feelings. and also doubt about if I can continue to be a good mother to her. and scared of the next 18 yrs.

I really feel guilty for having these feelings in the 1st place, so pls no responses like "should've kept your legs closed" "welcome to parenthood" etc etc I am an adult 25 and not some irresponsible kid but I have feelings that I dont know why I have them even. and would like helpful advice not snide remarks (I know some of you other yahoo answer members can be real mean).

I hate having these feelings and am feeling like a bad mother for them. I cant seem to get rid of them though and dont know what 2 do. I KNOW i love my daughter and am GLAD I continued the pregnancy and had her, but at the same time I think these things.

Answer 1

I went thru all the feelings you mentioned & then some.  I thought I would be ok & that things would get better but when I went back to work & had to leave my baby, I ended up not being able to even function.  I felt like the worst mother in the world because I wasn't even able to take him to his doc appointments because I didn't have any more time off work.  My sister has taken him for me & I will finally get to take him in Oct! Well, I was diagnosed with severe post partum depression.  So if you start to feel worse, please go see your PCP & don't procrastinate like I did.  My doc told me that this is common & normal & for me to not be ashamed but proud that I got help.  Good Luck & please know that you are not alone.  You will be a terrific mom!

Answer 2

yes these are normal feelings and you will continue to have them for awhile. i am not as young as you but i do miss some things such as being able to pick up and go to dinner and have some drinks with my hubby on a whim...then i think how i won't be able to do that for a LONG time...

of course i, like you, i LOVE my son but i think most mothers go through this after having a baby, it is a HUGE, LIFECHANGING experience, and probably even harder when you are young....there is no way to prepare for it before the baby comes, it just happens..

you aren't weird for feeling this i think it's totally normal after having such a huge change take place in your life.  i don't think everyone who has these feelings has "postpartum depression", i think it's just adjusting to a new life and it isn't easy.

Answer 3

Everything you said is perfectly NORMAL.  If you feel like you just can't do anything else you might need to contact your MD or find a support group for new mothers. I know they can help you with your feelings and they can reassure you that these feelings you are having are normal.  Just don't wait to late to contact someone. You sound like you are having a bout of Postpartem Depression.

Answer 4

I felt the same way. You really can't know what it feels like to have the awesome responsibility of having a child until you have one. And when you do, you realize what you have given up, what you've gotten yourself into and how much your life is really going to change. So, I think it is normal for an adjustment period. Babies are alot of work and they take alot out of you. In the beginning, they sleep and eat, get you up in the middle of the night. They don't interact much. You are doing alot of work and not getting alot of response. That will change soon when she starts smiling and laughing. You will feel LOTS better once she starts sleeping through the night and you get a good solid 8 hours of sleep.

Are you getting any support from the boyfriend? You say he is putting off marrying you, but is he helping with the baby? If not, I imagine you would feel very resentful. That you've given up your life, but his has gone on as before. I could see how this would compound your feelings of losing your freedom.

It will change. It will get better. Just give yourself time. You are not a bad mother. We all go through this in some way or another.

Answer 5

First off, congrats on your new baby!

It is normal to a certain point. I completely understand what you are going through. When I read your question it looked like what I went through with my first child. You just had a baby and your hormones are crazy right now and it takes a while before they level out. But, really you should call and get an appointment with your doctor before it turns into something really serious, like postpartum depression.

I hope I helped and good luck to you :)

Answer 6

uh oh. you just made me realize that i might have post partum too. i feel the same way. i'm 24 and son is 9 months old already.