Please <span title="help........................?">help........................</span>

Question

I have a crush on one of the clery at my church. He's married with kids. I'm in college now; I turned 21 recently. I told this one girl at church. I think she told him or he noticed or something. Why would she tell him? I don't want nor expect a relationship with him. I'm really quiet & shy and don't like actually interacting with people outside my head. Is that strange? Once I tried talking to him & he said he had to pick up his kids & I saw him talking to someone else for a long time. I tried to talk to his wife. I said hello & she said hi & turned her back to me. Once, when there was an emergency, she they called my aunt & uncle but didn't speak to me even tho they knew I had just walked thru rhe door b/c my uncle told him. She gave my aunt her my number for me to call to make sure I was okay but never answered my calls/messages. I asked him what he was going to do this summer & he said visit fam, do consulting, and kids stuff in Aug. He's said I'm a good soul & have lots of talents & abilities. Then, why do they treat me like this? & he seems irritated by me=(

Answer 1

Going to another church is not the answer.  Asking if you can have a heart to heart talk with the clergy involved here would be a good idea.  A good idea because you don&#039;t know what&#039;s been said behind your back and you could clear this up together.  Sometimes when we look up to someone it can be misconstrued as a crush.

Answer 2

Why don&#039;t you just leave it be.

Answer 3

i think some1 needs to switch the church they go 2 thats wat i would do

Answer 4

Clearly they realize what you are really up to, and being that they are G-d fearing, and hold marriage sacred they are keeping all gates closed for you to breach an opening and create relationships where it would just cause problems. They obviously don&#039;t want you to be involved in their lives anymore than a curt but polite hello every now and then, and that is how you should keep it. Respect their family life, and don&#039;t push your way into areas not intended for you. Turn to G-d and ask him for help in dealing with getting over this crush, which is not appropriate for a young adult to have on a married man with kids.

Answer 5

Even though you say you don&#039;t want a relationship with him, you are clearly trying to get close to him.  Also, you didn&#039;t list the most important reason for not wanting to be with him - he&#039;s a MARRIED MAN!  Of course he and his wife aren&#039;t going to be warm and friendly to you when you&#039;re pursuing him (even though you say you&#039;re not).  

Do everyone involved a favor and back off.  Find a new church if you have to.  Following him around like a sad puppy dog is just going to cause problems.