Please stop me from hurting my child!!?

Question

I do not physically discipline my 23 month old son and my boyfriend does. He cries a lot when he doesn't get what he wants and doesn't listen to me much, but totally respects his father, and doesn't cry much with him. should i follow suit to get him under control or what else should i try, i admit he isn't as bad as some kids i've seen but bad enough.

Answer 1

Look you nor anyone else should NEVER physically hurt a child!! He's a baby. Babies cry.  

Answer 2

hey well i smpithis as ma 2 year old doesnt listen to me very much try ignoring him when he is bad i think it works i say to my son when ure a good boy then *** and speak to mummy i also find the naughty step really good hope this helps good luck

Answer 3

Personally I don't believe in physical discipline however its your choice.Children cry for various reasons.Have you taken a step back and tried to figure out whats triggering the crying? What exactly is it that hes wanting? What is it that you are trying to get him to listen about?When disciplining a child you need to be consistent for example if you touch that again you will get a time out so when the child touches it again right into a time out.this can take many times of repeating and you may need to physically keep placing them in a time out but eventually they will learn you mean what you say.you also want the time out to be in the same place where you can see them but they can't get toys,see the tv and so on. You need to remember to that when you use physical discipline you are basically teaching the child when you do something wrong its ok to be hit.so in turn when the child's of school age and another child does something your child perceives as  wrong they may think its ok to hit the other child.I also have to agree with the person that mentioned giving the options when it comes to something of that sort.

Answer 4

Physically discipline as in HITTING?  Your boyfriend is HITTING a 23 month old child?!? WHY are YOU allowing him to do so?  Your son doesn't respect your boyfriend you son is AFRAID of your boyfriend!  If you don't want to hurt your child stop your boyfriend from HITTING your child or else you will start having problems with him when he starts school because your son is being taught that if people don't "mind" you it is okay to hit them in order to get your way.  This is what your boyfriend is teaching your son, fear and that it is okay to hit people when they don't do as you say.  Time outs are totally appropriate for small children however they don't always remain in time out and you have to put them back, again and again.  It is called being CONSISTENT.  I would never allow anyone to hit my child.  It just is not necessary.

Answer 5

Hmm I'm in the same boat.. Actually identical.. 23mo son, doesn't listen to me 90% of the time, but listens to dada... The only think I've found that works is time outs, being firm, and being totally consistent.. The only thing being physical teaches them is to do things like hit you back, etc.

Answer 6

23 months is very young- i have never hit my 3 and a half year old in any way. my 6 & 8 years olds have had an occasional 'smack' but only a couple each and i dont agree with it in principle.

Children lead by example so re assess the way you act around him- if you shout and hit him or even each other then he will become 'badly ' behaved- but show me a 2 year old who bevahes nicely lol they dont exist. if you label him a bad child i guarantee you he will grow into one

Answer 7

its better to turn his attention towards you make him to be free with u and try to be 50% strict and 50% free with him

Answer 8

Physically discipline a 23 month old ?

Whatever happened to the naughty step! - try parenting classes they will give a range of ideas and methods of how to positively parent a child. I  think the answer is about learning some parenting techniques rather than making a decision about whether to smack your toddler or not.

Suggestions would be

Star charts (rewards chart), a naughty step (which we've used only twice), instill quiet times, structure, good boundaries, clear consistent messages, learn how to distract your child, sometimes let him have his paddy or find ways for him to release his pent up energy, if you make a threat i.e. you will go home from the park then do it sensibly and responsibly and carry it out. Don't shout and scream and get out of control yourself all that will happen is that you will behave like your child and look silly!

When the incident is over always make friends with your child, cuddles and kissses all round and overflowing praise when he behaves well.

Answer 9

I will discipline my child if he gets out of line.  The crying is probably just a stage...be ready...there are many more to come!!  When my son was that age, I would tell him that I didn't like to see him cry and he could go cry in his room if he was going to keep it up.  After telling him that a couple times (and making sure he goes if he doesn't stop!!) he would stop as soon as I said it.  

What is he asking for or wanting that you are not letting him have?  If he wants junk food before dinner...say "yes, you can have it after you finish your dinner."  If he wants a toy...try "yes, you can have it when you give up one of your toys at home."  Sometimes the word "no" sends a kid into tears without hearing the reason why.

My son reposnds very well to "options."  If he is whining I tell him he has two options...one is punishment and the other is what I want him to actually do.  When he thinks he makes the decision instead of being told what to do...it's AMAZING what you can accomplish!

For example...doesn't want to take a bath..."options are take a bath or go to bed...which one?"  He ALWAYS opts for take a bath...what kid WANTS to go to bed?!?!?  No fights and he does what I want without whining!

Again...he WILL get a smack or a slap if he does something WAY OUT OF LINE...like spit at me when I am disciplining him (gotten him a couple raps on the mouth...nothing hard more for shock value than anything else...but he doesn't do it anymore!)

Good luck!

Answer 10

Follow suit! Get him under control while he is still young. Good Luck

Answer 11

You need to be firm and stick by your guns. You need to let him know that when you say no, you mean no, and there's to be no tantrums or you get a smack on the bum or hand or whatever. You shouldn't smack hard enough to hurt the child of course, but a little tap can shock them enough to realise you are serious.

Tantrums will only get worse if you don't get them under control while they're just starting.

I do the discipline with my daughter and she's great because I started at a young age with her and let her know what is acceptable and what's not and she's great.