Please tell me if i'm right- Romeo and Juliet?

Question

the original Romeo and Juliet prologue is here:

Two households, both alike in dignity,

In fair Verona, where we lay our scene,

From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,

Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean.

From forth the fatal loins of these two foes

A pair of star-cross'd lovers take their life;

Whole misadventured piteous overthrows

Do with their death bury their parents' strife.

The fearful passage of their death-mark'd love,

And the continuance of their parents' rage,

Which, but their children's end, nought could remove,

Is now the two hours' traffic of our stage;

The which if you with patient ears attend,

What here shall miss, our toil shall strive to mend.

My version is here:

There were two families (Montages and Capulets) living in a beautiful city - Verona. The families are both alike in social status, they had a disagreement for a long time which had carried through generations. The argument had caused violence in the two civilised family. The families each had a child. They children who are cursed with bad luck fall in love with each other and commit suicide. Only their death would stop their parents’ hate and anger. The lovers’ suicides are now told on stage and listen patiently to find out what happens.

Dose my version make sense and is it right?

Answer 1

I think you did pretty well.  A few points you might consider:

1.  Disagreement might be a bit mild.  The break between them made

     them into feuding, fighting enemies (so much they upset the

     peace of the city regularly).

2.  Star-crossed has in it, I believe, more than just the idea of bad

     luck.  I believe it carries connotations of fate - forces beyond

     themselves that made their end inevitable and not just a chance

     throw of the dice, so to speak.

3.  You say that "only their death would stop....".  This is a point of

     semantics, but the use of 'would' implies that this was a

     necessary condition (something determined beforehand) to

     bring about reconciliation of the families.  I don't read it that way.

     It did bring the parents face to face with the terribleness of their

     feud--in effect, the greatness of their sin--because of the

     consequences to their beloved children, but this was an effect

     of the double suicide and not a condition of their reconciliation.

Hope that helps.

Maggie

Answer 2

Well,... yes that almost perfect however the ending is a bit blunt I would consider reversing it, "The lovers’ suicides are now told on stage and listen patiently to find out what happens." It's just that you said they commit suicide let's see what happens next,... nothing doesn't happen next because the play has finished. Other than that it's correct and also,... IT'S FANTASTIC GOOD JOB!!! *Thumbs Up*

Answer 3

sounds good to me.  

Answer 4

No Fear Shakespeare compares the original text with the modern text so you can understand it better.  You did a good job on your own however.

Check the site out if you need help in the future

http://nfs.sparknotes.com/romeojuliet/pa...

Answer 5

Good job.  Your version makes sense.

Here are links to a couple of study guides about the play. They should help you. Also do a search here in the Yahoo Answers search window for Romeo and Juliet as hundreds of questions have been asked here about it, and those Q's and A's should also help you.

Answer 6

you left out

And the continuance of their parents' rage,

Which, but their children's end, nought could remove,

which basically means that after they died, they forgave each other. theres some grammar stuff, but other than that, its ok

**and, yeah, the parents DO forgive each other at the end of the play. it doesnt just end on their death. perhaps the script says it ends, but shakespeare wrote it so that the families mourned for a while, without speaking**

Answer 7

Overall it is very well written and it tells the main point of the story.  Just a tip, don't keep saying 'The Families'.  Twice is okay if they are far apart in the paragraph but you keep on repeating it.  

& a quick suggestion for the last sentence, "The lovers' suicides are now told on stage, and you the audience must listen patiently to find out the story of the two forbidden lovers.'