Please tell me what you think of my poem?

Question

Tear drops of pain

Pouring from my eyes

Cursing through my veins

With it's healing, death and life.

Pulling back the vials

Of unwanted times.

Shedding light on what I fail.

Bringing forth the prodding eyes.

Holding back, I try. Pulling away, I lie

Giving up, I die. What is next?

This is life.

I cover my fears with masked uncertainties.

Mark the days or years

I've hidden these impurities.

Lastly, I call, only to get no answer.

Wonder why I try at all,

If other ways are easier, faster.

Giving in, I might. Pushing forward, I fight

Letting go, I'd like. What is next?

This is life.

Answer 1

wow, it is very good !!

what is the title ?

Answer 2

This poem is nicely written. I am very impressed with the ending and personally you should put it on one of those poem websites or google poetry contests. I agree with the 1st response, you do need a title....

I also showed my daughter and she loved the poem too.

Good Luck

Answer 3

This is amazingggg!  I LOVE it!  Great job! :)

Answer 4

it's brilliant !

Answer 5

So cool and Beautiful!...

Answer 6

wonderful poem you do a wonderful job painting a picture in your reader's mind

Answer 7

Wow i wish i could write like that!!  You're amazing!!!  It looks like its called "This is Life" right?  You should definitely persue this talent!    Pleasure reading it!!  Hope this helped!

Answer 8

This is my favorite so far! You need to have a title for it though.

Answer 9

not bad..it's really out there and strong.

Answer 10

good

What's the title?

Answer 11

Dont give up!   Just by reading your poem I can see you are very very talented.  Hugz from Gymmlicious!  

Answer 12

I think poem really came from  your heart and soul. The passion and understanding that came from the poem. The question that you leave people with is " Is this your true life? Are you in misery" You leave a mystery to solve and to me that is what deep poetry is. Great work!!

Answer 13

nice one ^^

Answer 14

Unfortunately this IS a 'stereotypical teen angst poem', as another user pointed out.  The material is exceptionally unoriginal, which can be forgiven because most emotional subjects have been dealt with a million times, but you found no new ways to express this emotion.

I would recommend you try to find new ways of expressing yourself through emotive language - for good examples read e.e. cummings.  Most of his poems would suffice but to use a famous one, have you ever read 'anyone lived in a pretty how town'?  That poem is an excellent example of a poet twisting the English language to fit his ideas and concepts without actually using English properly.  

Not that you need to express yourself like that; but a good method of analyzing your own poetry as you write it is to start with every single cliche you can think of about your subject, and then taking care to avoid them all.  'Tear drops of pain' is thundering, monstrous cliche, and 'pouring from my eyes' doesn't sound poetic.  It's more poetic to express the fact that you're crying without actually saying 'I'm crying'.  That's what makes poetry art instead of just an essay written in a weird format.