Please tell me what you think of my story so far?

Question

There are a few chapters so far but I'm really not sure what ppl think. It's a vampire novel I plan to add a lot of action and romance.

http://www.booksie.com/young_adult/novel/sam316547/falling-for-hate

Your comments will be loved forever any helpful hints would be really really nice!

Answer 1

you have a great story there, just the way I like it. I love stories about vampires, they are great characters for stories like these.

Sorry if I'll sound harsh, but the thing is, there are a lot of errors in your writing, it's not spelled wrong, but were and we're isn't the same.

"All at once in a split second the creature launched it’s self at Megan. She started to scream. The sound of her voice became distant, all around me darkness started to cave in."

"it's self", it's wrong, isn't it? I'm really sorry about this, I just can't help correcting people. Everyone makes mistakes, even you Americans do. English isn't my language, but I try to perfect it, and so should you.

again I apologize for this, please forgive me.

Answer 2

OMG! Cliffhanger ending! Just the way I like it. The first person was right, there are a few mistakes. Punctuation too, I think. You missed a speech mark on one of the sentences. You should proofread it. Other than that, really good. Oh and since the story is online, maybe you could leave a line in between each paragraph? Then it'll be easier to read.

I really liked it. It started off as an average story and then the vampires struck. That was a really good way to end the chapter. Kudos!

Wanna read my story?

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