Question:

Please tell me what you think???

by  |  earlier

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It is a normal spring day, and I decide to have my lunch break in the local park, the weather is good, warm enough for summer clothes, yet not hot enough to complain about.

I sit on a bench under the shade of a tree, the wind blowing through the tree causing shadows to dance on the well-maintained lawn. The park is a hive of activity today, an assortment of people, professions and past times. A man walks past me in his well pressed business suit, he is not much younger than me, he is talking on his mobile phone, a little to loudly than necessary, trying to sound important to those in earshot of him, or trying to sound important to himself.

An elderly couple is sat on a picnic blanket on the lawn, there silver hair shining in the afternoon sun, homemade sandwiches and cakes in brown paper bags, their faces are content, yet their eyes tell a different story, for after a life time of love, sharing and companionship, should one of them pass, the other would be truly alone.

A young female runner runs past them, her toned body a billboard for her generation, her even strides cushioned by the latest running shoes and designer sunglasses to block out the sun. Tight fitting running clothes, to either enhance her performance, or to leave those who look at her an object of desire, sexual and envious, covers her body.

She runs past a group of teenage school kids, as she passes the boys they mimic the bounce of her b*****s with their hands, much to the annoyance of the girls who roll there eyes.

A young couple walk past hand in hand, smiles on their faces as they watch their young toddler kick a bright orange ball, he squeals with delight, his rosy cheeks and innocent eyes oblivious to the hardships he will one day face, but for now he is content will sugar coated treats and colourful images on the T.V.

A small bird takes my attention, a sparrow I think, he is doing a little hop type of dance in front of a cluster of bushes, he then darts into them, coming out with a small bug in his beak, he then flies up into a tree, He returns moments later to do the same thing again.

Yet the more I watch his antics the more I wonder about him.

I wonder if he is feeding his young, is this instinct that drives him to do this, or is it a parental love? Will he get frustrated if he cannot get enough food?

Will his little heart swell with pride when his young take flight for the first time? Does he know of love? Does his heart skip a beat when he sees his mate? Or will it break when one day she does not return? Does he know of fear? Will he cower in the treetops when a storm comes crashing down upon him? Does he know of racism? Do other birds treat him unkind because he is not the same breed as they? Does he know of joy? Will he sing that little bit better when the sun is shinning on a clear day? Does he know of God and the creation? Is he aware of me as i am of him, and knows of man, war and death?

If he is aware of all of these then I feel sorry for him, for why should he suffer the folly’s of man, and yet if he is not aware I am equally sorry for him for the wonder of life is a thing to behold and the joy and sorrow it brings is a thing to be shared by all

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4 ANSWERS


  1. u pass english


  2. You have a few run-on sentences. Try cutting some of the long ideas into two sentences...just my opinion.

  3. Nice day in the park.  Wish I was there.  

    But the writing a a little rough.  Lots of proofreading needed.  Homophones used incorrectly.  

    Bad grammatic structure in places.  

    I would suggest reading what you write out loud, and making some changes.  Look for flow, verbally.  Check your spelling.  Write with your ear, is the kind of thing I was taught.  (But this is just a short answer and I'm not even proofreading myself.)  

    As a visual moment in the park I like it a lot. It is a good start. Keep working n it.

  4. I thoroughly enjoyed the park and it inhabitants - especially the indepth view of their inner perspectives.  You lay such heavy questions on the little sparrow - who cares not nor knows - the woes of man.  When "he" experiences hunger - it is only that he must seek food - he does not ponder why things happen - nor does he reason out his experiences. He just is - in all his superficial "innocence". ♥

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