Please tell me your opinions on these short poems

Question

i wrote them myself and ive been wondering what people think of them, please dont spare my feelings...

You Know What Hurts The Most?

it doesnt hurt me that you love her

it doesnt hurt me that you care

it doesnt hurt me that we never were

or even that this wasnt fair

i do not hate you, and never will

you were my friend, and you are still

it doesnt matter if you used me

if for a few laughs or something more

what hurts the most is that you lied to me

and i cant trust you anymore

i hope youre happy with her, i really do

and that your concience will forgive you

and as for me, ive learned my lesson

its being close that hurts the most

~Painful love~

I am damned

For surrendering myself to your kisses

For being a slave to your words

For holding you so close to me

That my heart has become yours

I am a fool

To be compliant to your wishes

No matter how it hurts

to lose myself in your bliss

And be entranced by your lure

I am a wild animal

That you have thoughtlessly tamed

And is condemned to walk this earth

Whispering your name like a prayer

I am a wounded dove

Whom you have made a martyr

Whose love you stole without consent

And reduced to pure desire

I am an ignorant dreamer

And I am yours to keep

forever your foolish puppet

And treasuring this painful love

Answer 1

aww i really like then both

but i like the 2nd one better

well done hehe

what do you think of mine ?

http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/ind...

x

Answer 2

really good

Answer 3

nice but not innovative.

try to expose your feelings in a way no one has done before.

for example:

And I am yours to keep = Eternal possession

forever your foolish puppet = the queen's fool

And treasuring this painful love = the jar of joy is forbidden

or something like that if you know what i mean.

but still, this is only my opinion.

keep up the good work!

Answer 4

for the first time in my life i will say... i hope these are not true, they dont come from the heart - and yu are not hurt as they seem to suggest, but i also am a realist, life is not always kind - if yu are hurting, i do hope yu find healing.

the poems are gr8, both of them - well written, heartfelt, wat more can i say- love them both!