Please thoroughly critique my story plot ?

Question

I have no interest in just hearing that it's "good" or "bad". I need for, as potential readers to think about what's interesting in it, what's not so much and reasons why. So okay, here goes:

The neighborhood priest has a fallout on God as is currently losing faith. As a result, he's losing church members slowly and the ones that remain loyal are distancing. In a poor use of judgment, he hypocritically uses illegal drugs (Speed) and becomes a more doped up, lively version of himself. This serves to be a problem at first, but he is soon to realize that he gives more meaningful sermons when he's high and uses that bring back people to the faith. To pardon himself to his conscious, he tells himself he is the "sacrificial lamb" that "has" to be used in order for the townspeople to be "saved".

I'm not really good at making summaries, but I should make that an excuse. Please give me your thoughts, ideas, questions, etc.

(If you wish to discuss more, you can im or email me, [e-mail])

Answer 1

That sounds very interesting, I would surely read it, but many people wont b/c of the whole "better sermons thing"

*Maybe you can make it to where the guy stops the whole drug problem and then he eventually tells his story to the townspeople and they support him for it.

Answer 2

I like your urge to explore the problem of the 'loss of faith', and the 'today' possibility of addressing it.

Bear in mind that quite a number of religious experiences and faiths are based on the use of mind-altering substances.  

What you might consider using is that as the priest seems to improve his attitude and sermons,  he also finds it more difficult to refrain from .......(fill in the blank).  In the end, he realizes that unless he can soberly approach the almighty and embrace His will, he isn't worthy to continue as a priest, so he becomes just a member of the congregation.

This scenario also reminds us of the use, by various artists, of mind-altering drugs.  Which of the songs by the Beatles, Stones, etc. etc. would we not be able to enjoy had they not willingly and prolifically used LSD, Coke, H, etc.    Yet, how valid are the feelings and philosophies they reveal in those works?  

Making a hero of the priest without revealing the downside is the same as telling everyone that spending all their time in an opium den is the answer to all their, and the world's, problems

Answer 3

based on your synopsis, it appears that there is no down-side to the drug use...the book appears to be proving the theory that drugs will solve (the priests) problems...

Answer 4

A decent premise.  I'd like to see how it turns out.

ape.

Answer 5

Hey!

I read this and really like your original idea. I think your plot/story should cover what series of things occurred to make him lose faith- That has the opportunity to be the most powerful part of the story.

I think that the priest should look at using drugs not as a sacrifice, but have him go a little nuts (because drugs will do that to you) and have him believe that drugs are a bridge between humans and God, and that it's perfectly okay. In my opinion, the reader shouldn't be obligated to pity anyone, making the reader angry at a character is more effective.

You didn't tell us your conclusion, and I don't think it's appropriate to stop there. You haven't formed any kind of cliffhanger. I like your plot because it addresses moral issue of using drugs for a "good cause" but other than that I am left with a marked feeling of emptiness, knowing that your idea has so much potential that is being left untapped.

What kind of story do you want this to be?

Touching? Maybe an apprentice to the priest finds out he's doing drugs and tells the church members and they join together to help him through recovery, which brings the priest more power and faith then he could have ever imagined having (drug-induced or otherwise.)

Disturbing? Maybe the priest convinces some of the churchgoers to do drugs too and their behaviors descend further into evil. The church will sense something is wrong and abandon him again, leaving him a lonely drug addict who eventually commits suicide.

Well your main idea is a rich spring board for many unique plots. I am curious to know where you will take this misguided priest and his followers.

Answer 6

that actually sounds pretty cool, but what if, in the end, God eventually forgives him just as he's about to kill himself and then rescues the priest at the last minute! Saving him and forgiving the village / town  

=D     sounds like it'll be an interesting story