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Pleease help do you think that this is a good persuasive speech?

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what else should i include what facts should i add and how my conclusion should look like? thanks

Andres Vele

Recycling is such an important environmental issue, and yet it seems as though there isn’t much done about it as a community. If you ask a random person on the street what they think about recycling, nine times out of ten they’ll smirk and tell you it’s good for the environment. But, really, they don’t understand the significance of recycling. Recycling is plainly returning an item back to its original condition so that it can be reused. Recycling is so important to the welfare of our community, and to the welfare of the planet. Today I am going to concentrate specifically on plastic bottle recycling, and why every single park in the the state of New York should have a recycling bin for plastic bottles.

According to the Container Recycling Institute (CRI), a Washington-based nonprofit organization, eight out of 10 plastic water bottles used in the United States become garbage or end up in a landfill, plastic bottles take about ten thousand years to decompose and during the process of decomposition it emits dioxin gas which is quiet but poisonous for the soil and detrimental for one’s health. Recycling a ton of plastic bottles, which is an approximate of 24.000 12oz bottles, saves approximately 3.8 barrels of oil and 7.4 cubic yards of landfill space. And you might think this is a lot bottles, but according to the CRI a person drinks an average of two bottles a day.

In September of 2007 a survey was conducted by the Journal News and found out that every public park in NYC at the most had four recycling bins and none of them were specifically designed for plastic bottles, these bins were for every type of bottles. There were parks that had only one recycling bin and parks that did not have any at all. As you may have noticed not every bottle is a plastic bottle, there are aluminum bottles and glass bottles and they are made from different materials.

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2 ANSWERS


  1. Oh boy, you've got to polish this up, DON'T EVER USED THE WORDS " Today, I will talk about, etc..." This really shows poor creativity and sentence flow Your not "talking" to the admissions officer, and you certainly aren't talking to him "today". Remember to convey your opinions not in a spoken manner but as in a creative writing piece. Also, your body functions as your conclusion, This is crucial mistake, remember that your conclusion is the summation for your essay and to have it grouped together in a sea of facts is going to seriorsuly leave a negative impression on your admissions officer. However, on your plus side, you have strong facts to back it up, and that helps. But remember to pick out only the strongest facts that can stand out to help prove your point. Lastly, your sentence flow is kind of awkward." Recycling is plainly...." This should be fixed up. Adopt a scientific or literary tone to explain what recycling is(a great way to do this is to copy the meaning of recycling from a dictionary and put it straight onto your paper) but in a concise manner. Other than that, your essay is fine.  


  2. very persuasive , you show your thesis very well, and have facts to back it up.

    very true what you say is true  most people don't recycle, and can help very much if  everyone does it.

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