Plz answer this question i really need some advice now before i just drop out of school!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?

Question

i really want to go online and finish my 11th and12th grade years online but my parents don't want me to b/c they say that i need to socialize but i already have a boyfriend and we r goin to get married and don't say o you don't know that cuz i do we both have it all planned and everything and i love him very much. but i just want to go ahead and finish so i can go to college(i could "socilize there) and get my RN and start workin. how can i convince them to let me go online i have already asked them 3 times and i have even cried not on purpose though.i told them everything and they still say no you need to soclize and have memories(i think it's cuz my dad never went to prom and he wants me to go, so i can have that memory but i did go to a pre prom n 8t grade). but anywhoo i really wanna do this and i would do anything to do it(i even told em dat) so plz help and tell me what you think i should do??

Answer 1

I'm going to share a huge secret with you that most parents don't share with their teenagers.  Your Mom and Dad want you to be grown up and adult just as much or more than you do.  The problem is, you see yourself as more grown up than they do.  Sometimes adults can't (or don't) put into words what they're seeing in their kids.  When they tell you that you need socialization, they're not talking about needing more friends or needing to spend more time with your friends at "wherever."  They are seeing some bits of immaturity in you and your behavior and are concerned that you aren't ready for the life you've envisioned for yourself, just yet.  They want you to be grown, and aren't trying to hold you back... yes, I know it feels that way because I've been there.  Believe me, if they could hand you the world on a silver platter, they surely would.  If you'll work with them and not against them, they'll soon see you as being more mature and That's what it's all about.  They think you need time to grow more.  And so do I.  Growth of character takes a lot of time.  It's not who we are on the outside that makes us men and women, it's how mature we are on the inside.... how we act and react to daily stresses and problems... how we handle fear... how we handle rejection... how we deal with someone we don't like... how patient we are when things are outside our own control... all those things rolled up into one package.  When your Mom and Dad see that maturity in you, they'll be the first to let you know.  And they'll practically push you out the door to that life you've got planned.

Are your only two options dropping out or finishing school online??  I realize you want to be an adult and you want to get on with your life.  I think everyone does, at your age.  But is the world really going to stop turning if you do things your parents' way?

I agree with your Mom and Dad.  It's not the courses or the time put in learning stuff that makes the big difference in the last couple of years of high school.  It's the living.  You're at an age where you want desperately to be treated like an adult.  You have a pretty good idea of how your life will be, once you've graduated from school, and you want to "fast-forward" things so you can get there sooner.  But the problem is that you aren't as mature as you are going to need to be at that time.  Mom and Dad can see that, or they'd agree to do things your way.   It's time to trust your parents, even though you don't agree with them.  

There's a time and a season for every thing under the sun.  Let yourself have time to fully grow into the wonderful young woman you've begun to be.  Let your boyfriend have time to mature into the man who will be that wonderful husband you'll need him to be when you have his sweet babies.  Let yourself dream.  Let yourself plan.  Let yourself have time to grow.

Answer 2

Even if you were to do online, it doesn't mean you'd finish high school any faster. It's doubtful that you'll get them to change their minds at this point, especially since it's only 2 years left of school. Doing online, even if you work hard, you would be able to knock of 1 year maximum, but most students would probably only be able to knock off 1 semester with extra effort. Given you're expected to live another 60 years, taking off 6-12 months from your high school time is not that much. (And if you aren't able to see that, it means you are so emotional about this you aren't thinking rationally.)

If you really want to speed things up a bit, talk to the school counsellor. There may be a way for you to take some correspondence classes, do independent study (on top of your regular classes) for credits, and/or there may be some weekend and evening high school classes available. There's also summer school next year. If you don't already have a full schedule, make sure you have a full schedule.

Another alternative to is to do the regular schedule and fill your extra-curricular time with activities which will give you experience useful for admission to college and your future career.

Answer 3

You need to do research before approaching your parents again.  Read some pro-homeschooling books to prepare intellectual, defensible, logical arguments.  Your plan is a huge jump from what our society considers normal and is going to require a lot of patience, maturity, $$$, and a lot of EXTRA work!

The issue of socialization is really poorly handled in most schools. In life you need to work with lots of people -- different ages, different abilities, different personalities, etc.  Schools and the groups within them tend to be very similar in terms of age and interest.  Individual schooling really encourages strong development of your abilities and your problem solving skills, which makes you a very strong team player.

However, individual schooling is VERY LONELY.  You won't be able to talk to your friends about school work, school activities, etc. Also, you're going to end up missing out on lots of little things with friends (shopping trips, parties, activities, etc) because these are usually planned and done during school hours or immediately afterwards.  

Schools are very inefficient at teaching.  You will be able to study and learn more individually than you could in school. And you will be able to study deeply the subjects that you care the most about which will be very helpful, especially in your chosen field of nursing.

But you won't be able to ask for much help or receive in-person instruction or guidance.  You will receive little feedback, and very little encouragement.  

You will have to do a lot of extra work to get into college by preparing a portfolio and taking extra achievement tests and being strong enough to take a lot of rejection in the process.  And you'll need to find your own extra-curricular activities to supplement your formal school work.

Online schooling can be very expensive and is not covered by many scholarships nor can you use any college funding sources. If you opt to put together your own curriculum it can get very expensive also.  You'll need books, workbooks,  language lessons, science labs and equipment, computer and related equipment, printer ink and paper, etc etc etc.

At this point, without full support and with only 2 years to go (the busiest, most difficult years of your academic career)  I think you need to be patient with your parents (they do love you ya know), and settle in at high school and finish with a full diploma and work hard to make a good transition into college and nursing.  

And open your eyes!! Start looking for ways to make things work for your future... For example

Have you considered looking at a community college to see if you can begin taking 1-2 college courses now or receive credit for your high school courses?  AP courses are a great way to jump start your way into college credit too.

  

What about trying for a nursing internship or volunteer work? (It looks awesome on college applications and may get your foot in the door for a job or a scholarship in the future.)

How about taking a few early runs at the ACT and SAT exams and work your score way, way up?  It makes a lot of admissions people look twice to see very good test scores.

Answer 4

They probably cannot afford the cost of it. Online schooling is expensive. Finish it out . what's 2 years of your life when you have a lifetime ahead of you . and no nursing school will take you without a real diploma anyhow!!!

Answer 5

Go ahead and take courses on line and get married young.  It will be the biggest MISTAKE you'll ever make.  Right now you don't understand and you think you know everything.  You NO NOTHING!  Your and idiot for not listening to your parents.

Answer 6

dont drop out, i did, and there has not been a day that goes by, that i dont regret dropping out, i never invited to to the high school reunions even though i dropped out of 12th grade, i never got to go to the prom, i never will know what it  feels like to receive a diploma in a formal ceremony.

i never got a graduation party, or gifts of money to start off my

future life. take the 2 years and enjoy them, go to your prom,

make the best of these years, u can never get them back, you

can always be a nurse and make money, im one now, but i would still love to go back finish high school and most of all enjoy that last year. i would love to see my old friends. pre prom is nothing like your high school prom.

finishing high school and not online is an achievement, my daughter hates her online diploma, no doors opened, no scholarship, no variety information from guidance counselors of opportunities of colleges, and still  making min wage. my other daughter finished high school with diploma, went to prom, makes excellent money while attending business college. enjoying life. be smart dont drop out.

Answer 7

My goodness, there are so many questions wrapped up in this!  The maturity level of an eleventh grade student is not that of an adult.  That being said, you have your life planned out and know what you want so I won't tell you that you are making a mistake.  However, before you quit school, you need to look at all your options very carefully.  Public high school is not for everyone.  Consider all the children who are homeschooled.  But you need to consider your reasons for dropping out.  In your question you say your parents don't want you to drop our because of the socialization factor.  Socialization is important, but your education is even more so.  More colleges are open now to alternative educations such as virtual academies and homeschooling.  You must be able to pass the placement tests with good standing, can you do that?  If not then you need to consider what you need to learn to be able to.  

Our local public high school offers tech classes to junior and senior students.  One of those course packages is in healthcare.  Taking this course puts you a step ahead when entering the nursing field.  We also have ties to the local community college where high school students can take college courses during their junior and senior years to allow them to shorten their needed college time and graduate sooner.

These are just some of the options available.  Do you know why you really want to drop out?  Because I am not reading the reasons in your question, just the need to jump into your future.

Before you make this decision, talk to your parents about the reasons.  If you take the time to research all your options, and then sit down and talk it out, you will have a much better grasp on what to do with your future.  You will have a better relationship with your parents if you approach this with a mature outlook and handle it with facts than if you let the "I want" emotions lead you into a rash decision and possibly a mistake.

And for the record, I have three teenagers. 14, 15, and 17 years old.  My oldest dropped out and is home schooled.  The other two attend our local high school.  We have looked at all these questions and made the decision based on what each of our children needed and wanted.  Our oldest is very accelerated and public school couldn't give him what he needed to learn.  So I am not just blowing hot air at you, I have already gone through this path.

Take the time to talk and really listen to your parents.  They will hear what you have to say, but you need to hear what they say as well.  This is a major step, don't rush into it unprepared.

Answer 8

Going online will not help you in the long run.  Stay in school.  Take advantage of the free public education that we have.

Answer 9

Don't drop out, even if you do go online. I know somebody who said they were going to get married to there boyfriend in high school and they had it all planned and everything was great until they went to college and then everything broke away because they went to different colleges. Stay in school cuz I can tell you your senior year in high school will be the best because you get a letter jacket, get to go to all the fun parties, and rule the school. You will not want to miss out on that.

Hope I Helped!

Answer 10

you must first think of the reason you want to do homeschooling of any kind,like me i wanted to do this because the high school i would be going to and it literally had teens in the school who sold drugs shot up peoples homes and stuff and my mom and i, thought it would be a good idea if i did homeschooling so we can get the h**l outta this place where we live...

if that is the kind of "socilizing these poeple wanted me to do and if i had listened to all of them i would possible be in with that crowed getting in trouble and stuff,and how cares of socilizing i say if you can talk to someone important like a guy or a girl, an employee or employer then you'll be fine in the world...

but you only have two years left it would be pointless to quite and start homechooling of any kind why not try taking that test to see if you are smart enough to get your diploma now, and please i am only 16 and i can tell you that you that even in my prespective of your life you let us read about you would be making a mistake in marring so young, remember we're just teens and we really do have some growing up to do so dont make some life changing discitions now wait tell you've got a job, home, car and can support your self without a man,then go and find a man...

cause who really knows how long your high school love will last...

but ultametly its up to you and your parents we can't tell you anything but give you advice and help in some cases...

Just stay two more years to go and you've already gone through the worst or high school the last two years you practicly rule the school

(and sorry for any messpelled words i am in a hurry)

Answer 11

Well, I agree with your parents, an "on-line education" is no education at all. Go to your guidence councilor and find out if there are any courses you can take that will speed up your graduation. Every state has a SET NUMBER of CREDIT HOURS in EACH SUBJECT that YOU MUST ATTAIN -- no matter what, in school or on-line, in order to enter college!!!   Find out what those REQUIREMENTS ARE and then ask how your credit hours stack up to those credit hours!  If you can drop your ELECTIVES and take required subjects instead you should be able to speed up your graduation!

  And yes, you do need to socialize, this will be important, esp in your chosen field of nursing!!!  I am a nurse, so I know.

   I also did just what you are wanting to do and boy do I regret it!!!  I really needed those last 2 1/2 years to learn more than just the basics!!!  I finished all my required subjects by the end of 9th grade, so as I had planned, I could just take electives or go on to college or get married. Well, I met a guy, fell in love, and wanted to marry him! He was so handsom and so mature -- I thought! I'd only known him 4 months when we decided we wanted to marry! My dad said NO, so I got preggy on purpose to make myself an emancipated minor so I COULD get married w/o permission! Well, it turns out the guy I loved so much, was not a big tough guy, he was actually introverted, unduely jealous, and very insecure (I thought he was just the strong silent type)!!!  I didnt get to college til I was in my late 20s and I didnt know anyone or have any friends, I felt out of place among all these "young kids" and I was terribly lonely!!!  My dad had talked me out of marriage, but in those days abortion was illeagal and I had never even heard of it, I thought once you were pregnant -- that was it, I was so dumb I didnt know you could get un-pregnant!!! Or I would have corrected my mistake right then !!!

  And I wish my dad had told me about it, I'm sure he knew, he just didn't think to tell me, maybe he thought I already knew, but if I had known, I'd've jumped on the 1st plane with my dad & gone to NYC and soooooooooooo many lives would be better off today (my grandchildren are suffering because of my childish mistake & their children may suffer because of it too & maybe even their kids too !!!).  I found out later (several years later) that there was 1 place in NYC area where abortions were legal (1969). My son suffered because neither my husband or I was truly old enough to be having a child. We loved & adored him, but we weren't mature enough to be the parents we would've been 10 or 15 years down the road !!!  I missed my whole young life babysitting while everyone else had time to grow up, mature, go to proms, football games, travel for peace and enviromental causes etc !!! And just have fun and grow up and take time to learn & grow!  I did as well as I could raising him, but I would run off and have fun whenever I could escape and I think his dad said bad things about me while they were home alone together, cuz he grew up very unhappy and angry.  He shouldn't have been "made" just to "liberate" myself from parental rules! That was totally unfair & wrong!!!  How would I feel if I knew I was just a means to an end ??????  

  Dont get me wrong, he's was a BEAUTIFUL, BRILLIANT, WONDERFUL BABY & LITTLE BOY, but he should've been born when I was fully ready !!!  Not when i was only 16 !!!

  I know you think you know everything and are ready for marriage, becuz that's what I thought too,  but you're NOT -- believe me, I was YOU !!!!!!  

  Go to school, get extra credits, speed up graduation by a year or so, but dont get married, not until you & he are both over 25 years of age !!!!  You can live together, but dont get married yet, learn about each other in EVERY WAY 1ST and then after a few years of living together (dont flaunt it your shacking up tho), then you will know if it's the real thing & use at least 2 types of birth control (the pill & the rythm method, or condoms & the rythm, or spermaciadal jelly & the condoms or rythm methods  and there are diaphrams & rythm, etc. ,  and dont get preggy til you've been married about 2 years or so  and have bought your own home -- so that your child (ren) will come into a REAL HOME OF THEIR OWN, with PARENTS IN A  STABLE RELATIONSHIP. Mature parents who have discussed and agreed on how to raise their kids!!!  

  Make sure you have had some real fun and travel and life experiences b4 you get married -- have some life 1st !!!!!!

   You'll NEVER REGRET having given YOURSELVES TIME to "really" grow up !!!!

   If you're thinking you're too shy for all this, then you're too immature for marriage, because in life & in nursing you have to meet with different people all day, every day !!!  And you'll want your children to be OUT-GOING and HAPPY, so YOU  MUST  learn to be first !!!!!!  So, if you feel too shy or scared by people you dont know, then you have a lot of work to do for your own life (or lives). You need to go see a specialist in emotional & psycological problems (I'm not saying you're "nuts", evryone in the whole world needs this kind of help at one time or another -- me included) and you'll be sooooo grateful you did!!!  Because in your current state of mind & emotion you need someone who understands your problems & fears, someone who can help you get back on track so you'll have a RICH, FULFILLING LIFE honey !!!!  Please do this (both of you) -- do it for each other & for your future kids or they'll end up growing up with the same troubles you're having & maybe even worse !!!  

  You have a long, long life ahead!!!  Slow down and get the very most out of it that you can !!!!  I'm 53 and still feel 25 !!!  And I'm still pretty (just look at Cher & others -- she's 60+ and Tina Turner is 60+ & they're both still young -- so realize, you have lots and lots of time, lots & lots & lots of years -- give yourself the FABULOUS GIFT of GROWING UP AT THE RIGHT PACE !!!  If he's the right one, he'll be with you  -- married or not !!!  If he's not, find out through time instead of through a horrible divorce & kids left with a family ripped apart by divorce !!!!!!!)  

  I hope you'll read this several times and let it soak in! You two can be together, you can be lovers, just dont rush marriage. Give yourselves the time to mature for each other and for your kids !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   Love, Aunt Barbie

e-mail me if I can help you!!!

                                                          BLESS YOU BOTH !!!

Answer 12

i was homeschooled before and its not hard to socialize just go places go to malls meet frinds in the neighborhood and u probly already now lots of people from school already.....but it is a little harder to socialize wehn ur homeschooled....iwas once

Answer 13

don't drop out of school. Its a big mistake if you do. Jyst stay in school. The last 2 years go by really really fast. If you did drop out and take on line classes it would be alot harder to get into a college and get a degree. Being schooled by a computer wont let you experience the things that a teenager needs to. High School is a huge stepping stone in you life. People I know have dropped out of school and regret it. If you did drop you adn take on line classes you'd get bored and hey what trouble can you cause on on line classes? thats half teh fun of high school :)

Answer 14

Socializing isn't even the problem.  You can't possibly learn as much online as you could in a classroom with interactive discussion.  Just because you want to do it doesn't mean that it is a good idea, and your parents have your best interests in mind.  This is why they don't let you do a GED instead of high school; it really doesn't provide the same educational experience.  I can't imagine why spending two years studying online would be preferable to spending two years in school, and if what you have in mind is doing it faster, then you are undervaluing the process of education, which is not just quickly rushing through some facts online.  

I don't know why your parents are saying what they are, but it is obvious to me that you are trying to rush into a lot of things for which you are not ready.  Your attitude toward school sounds very young, even for your age, and so you probably aren't ready for college yet.  The same is true of the way you sound about your relationship with your boyfriend; you sound like the average 13 year old, not someone in 11th grade.  Your parents may be terrified that if you were to graduate from high school, you would consider yourself old enough to get married, and you would probably spend the next 10 years at least trying to put your life back together again after that disaster failed.  I'm not saying he might not be a very nice guy, but having planned it and loving him doesn't mean that you are ready, and you are about 10 years away from being mature enough for a lasting marriage.

Frankly, what you need to do right now is to respect the fact that your parents know you and know the options, and wait until you are eighteen to make your own educational choices.

Answer 15

well i have to say this. STAY in school. two years is a long time of taking internet courses that are expensive when you could just have a free education. if you are taking course online than when will you spend time with your friends. school is a time for socializing. you get to learn and spend time with friends. you would probably get very bored with out them to talk to.

Answer 16

dont do it!!!online learning requires more work and more stress even though ur at home.i tried it and believe me it aint easy.they pile ur workload more.

Answer 17

I really think it's up to you. Your parents should make you socialize because it seems like you thought really hard about this. If it's a better learning environment for you then do it because it's worth it if it helps you learn and if you want to do it.

Answer 18

That is a problem... If you've asked your parents that many times and they've said no, they obviously aren't going to give in any time soon. But even so, they're your parents and no matter how much you may not like it, you have to listen to them. They actually do have a really good point though. I'm in seventh grade, and I've been home schooled since last year. Already it's hard for me to get back into social situations comfortably. But if you really do want to go that badly, maybe you should just have a talk with your parents, and tell them why you want to go (let them have their turn to tell you why they don't want you to go as well). After wards, you'll probably either, 1. Realize that your parents actually DO have a good reason for saying no and accept that, or 2. they'll see how badly you want to go, and if you have a good enough reason why, they might finally say yes. Just be careful though because sometimes if they've told you "no" to something enough times and you keep asking anyway, they'll be even less likely to say yes. So just try to show them how mature you really are, that you still can socialize even if you go on line, and that you're ready to.

Answer 19

You SOO need to stay in school! You think your in love now but you will be kicking yourself in 2 years when your 2 years behind all of your friends and can't get a job?! Trust me! Stay in school, it will fly right on bye!

PS. if this guy LOVES you SOOO much, then he would support you staying in school! If he doesn't, then drop him! Like...NOW!

Answer 20

You have some great answers here.  My advice is to read the answers which are long and thought out.  These people know what they are talking about and have given you a lot to think about.  I know for a fact that people change--they change throughout their whole life--but one of the biggest changing times is between 16-21.  I know you feel like you know a whole lot and you love him like crazy and he loves you and you have your whole life planned out.  Please don't do that.  Like someone else said, if he loves you, he will understand that you need time and space to continue to grow into a mature adult.  Think, think, think.  Don't rush into anything and don't drop out of school.  There are so many things that you will miss during that senior year.