Plz help me understand him...

Question

My man has told me his mother was "crazy" when growing up. She was critical of him and often acted irrationally. Now he has trouble staying at one job for long and has had a difficult time with relationships. Should I be nervous? I've heard about the issues that can come about from having a mother who is overly critical of their sons. Have any of you had a crazy mother but still managed to stay at the same job, marry, and not develop alcohol/drug issues?

He does NOT have drug/alcohol issues, but he is 39 and never been married or in a long term relationship.

Any input would be appreciated!

Answer 1

Oh sweetie, there are red flags all over this guy.  Although children from disfunctional families can be normal, this man is not.  He clearly has commitment issues.  I would not invest a lot of emotions in this man.  Keep it friendly and develop a deep friendship with him.  Intimacy is probablt going to be a lot for him to handle.

Answer 2

If this is an issue at his age, it will likely be an issue for many, many years to come. I don't know what stage of the relationship you're in, but if you plan on staying with him, make sure this is something you are prepared to accept.

Answer 3

I don't have a video, but you should be scared out of your mind.

At 39, he should be able to hold down a job at least. Do you really want to spend your life being the sole bread winner? Working all day while he does who-knows-what?

I don't care if his mother was Atilla the hun, he is not LTR material. Find somebody who is already what you want. Not a fixer-upper.

You had fun with him. Good for you. Now it is time to get on with YOUR life.

Answer 4

could be a number of issues here.  at his age and never in any previous long term relationship, well that should be a red flag warning you that he's not a ideal choice for you.  i can understand that you care for him, but he may not, and truly he may not have the emotional maturity or the judgment necessary to make these types of commitments, in the end you're the one who will be left behind, abandoned, and hurt

Answer 5

It is amazing how the relationship between mother and son is so crictical for the son's developement.

My husband had a crazy mother and father, a totally dysfunctional upbringingl!! i kid you not, and he is a wonderful grounded partner and father, the total opposite of his parents, and he chose to be better than them, and the reason he has been sucessful - he does not see or talk to his parents any more, they are out of his life completely.