Plz help me wat the problem it is....plz help me i m geeting depressed and i cant even write anything now

Question

This is 5 years back when i used to be very intelligent student always competitive and always desire to win. After completing my 10th standard i went to prepare for competitive exam..I started well for my preparations but then i got addict to playing video games.I used to play them12 hours per day.The studies were lost.But i always have fear back of my mind when my parents call me as i m always being sensitive kind.2 years past and i dint get selected in any of the colleges.Then one day when i was studying something i started proving that the thing written in the book is not right and that thought obsessively remained in my mind for weeks.Now watever i did I USED TO THINK NEGATIVE ABOUT IT AND START TO ARGUE WITH MYSELF .THIS PRODUCES LOT OF STRESS.Some of the thoughts include-

When i study something related to my academic i feel tat i m MUGGING the subject rather UNDERSTANDING it and i get anxious about it.

I feel very suspicious.when i watch any match or game i feel that the match is FIXED and i am wasting my time watching the same .it makes me anxious.

When i drive the car i feel that why when the car moves to right wat happens to tyres and i CANT BE ABLE TO DRIVE AFTER THIS TOUGHT.

I feel obsessive care 4 others.When i drove once i feel that i m not driving gud and i feel tat i m driving in the others lane which really wasnt nt true but it makes me anxious.

When i play cricket i once felt that i am copying kevin pietersons style of batting and i havent have my own identity..

When i study i feel that i m very intelligent and will do well in the exams and my friends are not intelligent and will be failed . so i think i shud teach them and really i want to study which i cant able to do....i think studying myself is a selfish act.

O nce i was watching the muvie and i feel tat there is some disturbance on the screen and i feel very anxious and cant watch the muvie....

Now i am heavily self conscious and little things me hurt me much.. i feel how my hairs are nd all and how shud i act.. i m highly suspicious too... i think these negative thoughts are stucked in my head and i never can get relief.. i m also losing my memory .. plz help..

Answer 1

Talk to your parents or another responsible adult about seeing a professional for some help.