Plz plz plz answer,my baby's adoption and feelings about it..not many answered b4 sorry

Question

i ma having my baby but ......when i go out shopping or just a walk i pass small shops i just really want to buy my little bump (i think its a boy !! =) )EVERYTHING that is in the shop !!

i cant stop feeling like this until i finally buy something !! i hide it behind the bed so my mom or the cleaner dot find it but i just want to buy more and MORE !! i cry myself to sleep each night,its hard but i have to give him up for mine and his own good.

and plz plz plz don't say ''keep it'' bcoz its not that easy as it may sound,im too young and my parents would kill me...and not support me

if i give away the baby it would look weird with all cradles,pram,clothes,toys etc coming with it,i mean if i technically did NOT want the baby WHY would i buy all that stuff,

it would just seem uncomfortable

so what can i buy for the baby or nothing until its born to make it look ok and not too embarrassing ?????

thx :)

Answer 1

Why would you buy baby things if you are giving it up for adoption? Sounds like you really want to keep this baby and raise it yourself. How old are you? I would think really hard about your options and decide what YOU want to do. If your parents won't be there for support--there are programs out there to help you. Think long & hard about this decision because its one you will have to live with for the rest of your life.

Answer 2

i don't think it's silly at all to care about your baby and want to buy it things; you've already proved that you love this baby by making the choice to place him for adoption, knowing that will mean a better life for him; if I was the adoptive parent, I would love to have all these things come with the baby; that would show that the mother loved the baby and also the baby stuff will be very useful for new parents; if it's not to their taste, it can be donated to another family in need

Answer 3

I think first you need to talk to your parents.

I'm adopted, and when I was, a teddy bear and a blanket came with me. It's perfectly normal to have a few baby items for the baby, just to help start the new parents with.

I'm 24, and I still have that teddy bear, btw.  

Answer 4

You can buy things for your baby just don't go over board.. giving these items with this baby only shows that you care.. HOWEVER buying for your baby this way will only make you more attached and will make giving the baby up only harder.  I would say if you want to get the baby something get is something that he/she can have for a lifetime to know that his/her mom did care like a  locket or something. You could also request and open adoption to where you get to be a part of the child's life and they will know who you are.

Answer 5

Yeah, it sounds like you really want to keep this baby. Sit down with your parents and talk about it.  

Answer 6

You could have a completely open adoption, and ask to be the babies godmother, and basically act like an aunt. You could babysit him, be at his birthdays and be there for him in general. You dont have to just give him to someone else and thats that. Having an open adoption would give you the right amount of responsibility for your age (Im the same age so Im basing my thoughts on if I got pregnant), without raising him yourself. He needs older parents, and while you may be a mature person (age doesnt matter to me, I think you could be a better parent), he needs a stable home  and dependency. As much as you try, theres only so much you could give him given your age. I dont know where you live, but you might have two years before you can legally even get a job and drive! Be there for him as the cool auntish person, who he can go running to if he ever has such a problem.

Answer 7

All I can say is it is completely normal for you to want to take care of your child and buy it things for the future. It is also completely normal for you to feel horrible and sad and upset over this issue. As an adoptive mommy, I can only say that I hope you will reconsider your decision. It isn't easy and it won't be easy, but your parents will not kill you, they will have to accept it and help you out. Your short term problem does not deserve a long term, permenant solution. You sound like you are already in love with your baby. That feeling will be with you for life, but your child will be gone. Further, your child will grow up without mommy...without the one person who knew him from the moment he first grew inside of you. If he is ever able to find you, what will you tell him? That you couldn't keep him b/c your parents wouldn't like it? Parents get angry, they get mad, then they get over it. Please don't make a life decision based on how mad your parents will be at you.

Answer 8

It is natural for you to want to buy him stuff. Baby things are just too cute to pass up. Is there anyone in you family (grandparent or aunt) that would want to adopt the baby from you? Then you could visit him and it wouldn`t be awkward. Maybe a family friend would want a baby (most likely a woman who can`t have one). Or do the Juno thing and really get to know the people adopting your baby and then it wouldn`t be weird to buy things for your baby. Good Luck :)

Answer 9

From what you have written - do your parents actually know you are pregnant - if not then how do you know how they will react. I am sorry to ask that but you obviously want to keep the baby and it must be horrible to feel that you have to give away your baby when it is obviously not something you want to do.

I think re buying stuff,  I think you have to try not to buy anything otherwise it is just going to be harder for you when the time comes when you have to give the baby away - perhaps a small toy and keep a pregnancy diary f(you can decide wether to give this with the baby or not when the time comes) for when your child is older - this would mean so much more than lots of material things.

Good lukc Hon x

Answer 10

You can buy a baby blanket, that he/she can bring with them to their new parents house or a stuffed animal.  You don't want to buy too much, because most likely the new family will have all the new things for the baby.  I give you a thousand thumbs up for what you are doing.  You are so brave, and this is the most unselfish thing you can do, and you are proving how much you love that baby.  When my Aunt and Uncle adopted their little girl, they actually got a lot of clothing, and baby supplies from the family they adopted from, because she was 4 months when the mother decided she realised she wasn't being fair to her, she was too young, and couldn't take care of her.  Good Luck with everything!

Answer 11

Why don't you still put it up for adoption but ask to see it about once or twice a week. Then you can still see it and buy it clothes but you don't have to give up school or anything.

Answer 12

this baby is part of you so its natural you have maternal feelings for it. can you not talk to your parents?if you cant, contact a social worker. you have rights and may be entitled to housing and benefits. make sure adoption is the path you want to take...theres no going back