Plz read my story and give me ur opinions?

Question

The moon rose high in the sky, as the annual process begun. They swooped lower and lower each time, they were becoming faster and more agile. There was just no escaping the terror that awaited us.

My mum huddled me and my sister into the cupboard under the stairs. I was scared; I didn’t know what was happening. People were frantically running about and I could here people screaming.

I could see the fear in my mum’s eyes.

“Hide in here, you’ll be safe,” she whispered. “Take care of your sister…I love you.”

I could tell through her words and emotions that she was really saying goodbye. My mum slammed the door shut and locked it, passing the key under the door. Almost immediately after she left me in the dark alone, I heard the window smash and an almighty thud on the floor. I knew that one had just landed. I heard my mum gasp and then scream as she fell to the floor.

She was gone

Answer 1

I think its really good, good details,

and i'd say you were about 8 (in relation to your sisters age) but falling in love stuff well then your probably 13/14

But it ends a little too quickly compared to the long beginning

Answer 2

its good quality, n im guessin that question was a trick one so i'll say maybe hhmm... 12 or 13? n r u continuing the story if so can u send it to me =]

Answer 3

Wow. Your story is really good u should definatley get it published. I can't help but think you got ure inspiration from Stephanie Meyer's Twilight Series. Am i right?

Its excellent.

Good Luck with the rest

Sara x

Answer 4

It was good until it got to the vampire part, all that build up just to find out it was a vampire was dissapointing. And the love thing at the end? That just ruined everything, but then again it might fit better with the finished story so I dont know lol. Id say your about 12.

Answer 5

i think its good but you refer to the vampire as he, then you refer to it a her! but its good.

Id say you were a teenager, hope this isnt offensive to you xxxx