Poem! Criticize! Disgusting or beautiful?

Question

Travel to see a dying world...

travel to see massive suicide...

admire the weak, crush the bold.

take a picture while you're at it....

we believe in the non-existent future.

Our kids will be there,

suffering.

It's too late, but we try...

we get the satisfaction that we tried....

greed, pride, it's all we care about...

to be that role model for the future dead....

It's all cool, we did good...

good will happen to us....

but we did it out of greed...

greed not so good...

it will come around to us too...

the blood on those building...

oh so red.

it all makes up for the non-existent justice.

all the good people have been dying...

now let those who go and fight for despicable pride die.

both sides are bad... yet one will triumph and win...

sooner or later it'll only be one standing.... then there will be peace

God doesn't want peace yet...

remember.

peace.

(does anyone know where i could post poems...?)

^that should've been the real question^ oh well

Answer 1

Its a beautiful recognition of a disgusting truth.

Answer 2

disturbing

Answer 3

I liked! :D

Answer 4

Disgustingly beautiful or Beautifully disgusting, I'm not sure.

Though I'm confused. This has somewhat of a sarcastic tone. I'm assuming that you are talking about soldiers in the war who are dying and we don't even care?

This poem, critically, is kind of racing. I think that you ought to pull it together more. And add more images. Like "Travel to see a dying world, where we walk apathetically over the ruins, Travel to see massive suicide, where dark green helmets march like ants" I like the tone of sarcasm. Build on that to a point where you are pointing out images, but saying something else. Like "It's too late but we tried, we selflessly put pocket change into a soldiers cold hands". I like the idea you have with this piece, build on it.  

Answer 5

i can see a lot of truth in it. i think its good.  

Answer 6

beautiful