Poem - Find A Title And Do You Like?

Question

Gored by words from the malcontent

Pierced heart leads to abandonment

Memories are the only reminders

That there is love beneath blinders

A strange scent in the atmosphere

Choking and gasping for chaste air

Where is the tangible stronghold

That connected two which was told

Time to sleep and cast away thoughts

Put to bed hopeful dreams of oughts

Wariness overcomes and succeeds

The lullably plays without beliefs

Answer 1

"Relinquishment" would be perfect in my opinion. When I first read it didn't make sense (I had trouble with the 8th line)... but I eventual understood. It is a very good poem that has a sense of self-exploration then finally accepting the  inevitable.

Answer 2

You use some very interesting language. I really like the first line and the idea of "Choking and gasping for chaste air."

Did you mean weariness instead of wariness? I think this poem would improve with some thoughtful punctuation.

The title would be a great place to round out the meaning in this poem. That would have to come from you.

Answer 3

"Lulled. By words."  Yes. I like it very much.

Answer 4

Yes, it follows through very nicely. How about "Hopeful Lullaby" for a title?

Answer 5

I like it.  I usually don't like the poems people post on here.  Thank you.

No title

Answer 6

Should be "------------Lullably,"  Lovely poem tells the story of the same

old song and dance revieled, just does not sing for joy any longer,

The B.S. has come to an end. Too little too late. Kudos.

Answer 7

Very good. I enjoy it when I can make myself the protagonist (or goat, in this case).