Poem--I've only ever submitted poems to one audience, so I'd like to see what another one thinks.?

Question

The Sole Purpose of Conversation

As by the waning moonlight,

I can see the sun

rising on another shore

(a half stone’s throwaway

for the other half to have),

I too can watch the past

reflected in a mind.

--------------------------------------...

Please feel free to be mean; this is really not a poem I care about, just one that I strong together a couple of nights ago.

Answer 1

I like it except for the two middle lines "(a half stone's throwaway/for the other half to have)"  I know that you were trying to make a clever play on words, but I don't think it quite worked.  But I do understood and like the rest of the poem and I think you could write a really good poem if you put those lines together and then elaborate on it.  I feel like I'm wanting a lot more at the end.

Answer 2

i need more imagery before you see the sun, more imagery about where you are throwing the stone, who has the other half, and then something climactic before you introduce yourself in the end there. i like it a lot.

Answer 3

It is good. Although kind of short. I kind of liked it. It made me think about it... :)

Answer 4

I think it has a lot of hidden meanings and personal feelings. it a great poem so stick with what comes to ur mind1(i no its hard to write fun stuff.)

Answer 5

Its ok, not the best but i often time like longer poems. Good work tho, id like to read one of you better ones.

Answer 6

What im thinking it means that something is to great to hold but seeing another way through it is tommorow am i correct???

Answer 7

the meaning's just probaly too deep for me to understand.

Answer 8

It's contemplative that's for sure.  

I like the image of "see[ing] the sun / rising on another shore."  It has a sense of forlorn, longing for someone or something that is "a half stone's throw away."

Your last two lines make me think that there should be more...only because it doesn't quite fit with the rest.

I would definitely love to read more of your works.  If this is just something that you threw together, I would love to read a well crafted work.

Answer 9

personally i dont like it. but i dont dislike it either, it just didnt do anything for me. maybe i just dont relate. so basically, its not great and its not terrible.

Answer 10

Well thank you for the permission to crituqe, even thoug on here you really don't have to because we will do it anyway. Thank God you don't care more for it, because it is more of atimed phrase that raises an arrand response at best, nice imagery shaky flow and to be quite honest forgetable, lets see some of the work you axctually care about.

Answer 11

very metaphorical

Answer 12

this is a poem you do not care about because it is not finished.  If you want us to care you need to.