Poem...Thoughts on it?

Question

So many times we do not see,

That all of life is a memory:

Of days gone past both bad and good,

And so we dream, as dream we should:

But one should always keep in mind,

That a memory is a day behind:

Live for today with its joy and sorrow,

For today is the memory we dream of tomorrow.

Answer 1

Wow i really enjoyed reading that. Keep this for sure!

loved it

;)

Answer 2

its beautiful

Answer 3

wut about:

Of days gone past of both good and bad,

And so we dream, as the dreams we could've had:

im sorry but urs is great just giving some help!!!

Answer 4

wow love it

Answer 5

That's a nicely expressed poem. Two quick comments one on flow and one on content (both in L2)

Flow: You have one minor bump in your meter which would be fixed by cutting the "a" before memory.

Content: The point of the poem is live for today, live in the moment. I think in L2 you may want to say that "most" of life is memory not "all". Using all sounds like an acknowledgment that the reader should live in the past and that isn't your point.