Poem: Time Out -- what do you think, does it work?

Question

Time Out

By Victoria Tarrani

(© 0806.25)

Days and nights spent far away

with children bright or moody dark --

demanding I pay my dues,

over and over again...

after all,

I am there

to serve the Munchkins

and Chicklets that I adore.

Time on line

does not exist.

“Where are you?”

The words ring throughout

the day and long

into the evening.

My head aches from time-outs

-- really, I should have one for me --

and still the questions come...

Sometimes I am an anchor,

but, occasionally I must flutter into

their world to play the games,

the toys they want,

and tell my magical stories.

No where to run and just be me

when the chains forged

by love and memories

surround and bind me.

Then, in the midst, a tiny boy

curls into my arms and pats

me tenderly, "Oh Mema, oh Mema..."

his voice filled with wonder

and aching awe.

I am loved.

Answer 1

It works!! Many lovely lines and OH GOD....that last...it is so great to be loved!!

Answer 2

"Oh Mema, oh Mema..." love this line!

No where to run and just be me

when the chains forged

by love and memories

surround and bind me. - nice use of words here, you really have a great talent, I am surprised you have not published more.

Answer 3

This is well written.  Grandparents are special.  Special to the kids and special to the parents (free babysitters)!

Answer 4

Awesome used of free verse poetry and excellent poem

Answer 5

It more than works,

I so remember the chains!

oh how i wished to run, Danielle my Daughter kissed me on my cheek, on her way out said "I love you"

great poem x

Answer 6

When the grandchildren came to visit, the world turned upside down.  But all those dues you paid seem to have made you an honored member of the Grandparent's Club. The last line says it all.

Answer 7

Very nice.

Answer 8

This has such exquisite tenderness and pathos.  Oh, I can relate to this, having three "children bright " and "moody dark".  The end filled my heart with such sweetness, "wonder and aching awe".   This poem is loved. Thank you.

Answer 9

its sweet i like the second last paragraph

Answer 10

yeah it works.

Answer 11

It works, now where is the book.