Poem? What do you think?

Question

Abandoned For LIES

Words Falling

Actions Speaking Louder

No Chances To Voice

Truth Taken As Lies

Finally A Word

Complicated

Misunderstood

Covered Ears

Actions Are To Loud

Lies Are Believed

Taken For Granted

Eyes Seeing Lies

Ears Blanking Out Truth

Two People Crying

Walking Away

Last Goodbyes

Given With Looks

Backs Turned To Walk Away

No More Connections

One More Look Back

Trying To Be Understood

No One There To Listen

Abandoned

Answer 1

its not bad but its not exactly good from one to ten i would give it a 6 which is pretty good. it tells a story sort of it would be better with a couple more stanzas in it. but yeah.

Answer 2

A bunch of words thrown together to make a poem.

Answer 3

i this poem is really reaally goood!

i like it :)

Answer 4

I enjoyed it, but stating facts can get a tad bit stale. All-in-all it is good! Just would like some elaboration in it =]

Answer 5

This poem obviously has a lot of passion. But it doesn't have many poetic components at all! Try to pick a type of poem ex. Haiku, Sonnet, heroic couplet, narrative, spoof, free verse, blank verse etc. All these types have different rules.

Right now this poem is basically a list. A poem needs different poetic elements such as: scansion (rythem), rhyme, figurative language, juxtaposition, enjambment, etc. All of these components are not always necessary, depending on the type of poem.

I think someone who knows more about poetry should sit down and work on this with you. Or maybe you should do some research on the internet and look up some of the types of poems and words that I mentioned so you can improve this poem.

It also might be a good idea to look up some great poets like : Walt Whitman, Poe, Emily Dickinson, William Blake, Lewis Carroll, Phillis Wheatley, etc. and try to learn from them.

EDIT: Maybe split it up into stanzas too

EDIT2: I am not sure if you were talking to me when you said that it isn't my place to say this isn't a poem. I never said this wasn't a poem. I was just trying to help by telling you about some other poetic elements that would make this piece better. I thought you might like some constructive criticism.

EDIT3: Ohhhh ok sorry I guess I misunderstood what you said.

Answer 6

It's really good.

*Actions are to loud*->Actions are too loud

Answer 7

it's quite mysterious to me.

but that's why i like it!

Answer 8

i think its pretty cool

i can really sense the emotions in it.

thumbs up :)

Answer 9

its good, well said :D

Answer 10

i like the point youre trying to make

but it looks like a list to me

more detail would be nice

i want to imagine your poem, not just read it

Answer 11

geez............to confusing for us dumb people!